


Memoriae

by Dawnlightsilhouette



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Anal Sex, Blood Drinking, Bottom Ciel Phantomhive, First Kiss, Fluff, Kissing, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Character Death, Naked Cuddling, Shy Ciel Phantomhive, Top Sebastian Michaelis, loss of memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:14:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 21,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29243406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnlightsilhouette/pseuds/Dawnlightsilhouette
Summary: Ciel loses his memories. Now Sebastian has to deal with his master being shy and slowly regain his trust. Things get comlicated when the feelings he has for Ciel come up.
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive
Comments: 39
Kudos: 166





	1. Chapter 1

"How annoying. We're way too late for dinner. I wonder why he doesn't call me so that I can find him faster.”, Sebastian muttered to himself as he walked through the corridors of the laboratory. He turned a corner and found himself facing a group of armed men again. Sebastian sighed and attacked them. "My poor master is being kidnapped too often.", he muttered while breaking the neck of one of the men and hurling him at two others. He dodged a few bullets and threw his knives at the shooters. “Why did he get the idea to send himself and me to different places? How am I supposed to protect him when I'm not with him?”, he asked another man before throwing him out the window. Sebastian straightened his tailcoat and walked on. 

His master was assigned to find a group of scientists who experimented on kidnapping victims. Sebastian hadn't expected that they would kidnap Ciel too. He had been looking for Ciel for a while now and he was getting a little worried. Sebastian quickened his pace as he went down a flight of stairs. From below he heard people shouting and running. Apparently he was getting closer to his destination. Sebastian went through a door and found himself in a large room that looked like a hospital room. Some scientists were there. They screamed when they saw Sebastian and ran out the door on the opposite side of the room. Sebastian ignored them and ran to the stretcher in the middle of the room. 

“Young master, I've finally found you!”, Sebastian shouted happily. He tore the ropes that tied Ciel to the stretcher and lifted him into his arms. “It took too long. Please forgive me.“, Sebastian said and smiled at Ciel. He expected a cheeky answer, but to his surprise, Ciel stared at him with wide eyes and open mouth. He was pale and frozen. Sebastian was just about to ask what was wrong when he heard more armed men running further up in the building. “Let's get home quickly. We can take care of everything else later.", Sebastian said and walked back the way he came. Ciel squirmed in Sebastian's arms in an unsuccessful attempt to get back on his feet, but Sebastian only held him tighter. “Stop that, young master. I can't carry you properly when you're wriggling like that.”, Sebastian rebuked. 

He ran down a corridor towards the exit, but behind him their enemies came closer. Sebastian held Ciel as tightly as possible without seriously hurting him. He jumped out of the line of their bullets and towards his opponents. He finished them with well targeted kicks. When he was done he glanced at Ciel. Ciel had changed his mind. He clung to Sebastian with all his strength and pressed his face to Sebastian's chest. Sebastian smiled and left the building. 

It took a while, but Sebastian quickly carried Ciel back to the Phantomhive estate. He slowed to a normal pace and walked through the front door, down the corridors, up the stairs, and into Ciel's bedroom. Only then did he let go of Ciel. Carefully he placed Ciel on the edge of his bed, then knelt down in front of him and studied Ciel carefully. Ciel appeared unharmed but disoriented. He stared at Sebastian as if he had never seen him before. "Do you feel pain? Are you not feeling well?”, asked Sebastian. Ciel blinked at him and gulped. "Um...", he muttered. "Yes?", asked Sebastian. "Who are you?", asked Ciel. 

There was silence for a moment while the two looked at each other in amazement. “What do you mean by that, young master. It's me. Sebastian. Your butler.”, said Sebastian. "Sebas... tian?", muttered Ciel. Sebastian raised his hand and felt Ciel's forehead. It was actually a little too warm. "I think you hurt your head.", he said, wondering what the best treatment would be. "Sebastian?", asked Ciel. "Yes?", asked Sebastian back. "What's my name?", Ciel wanted to know. Sebastian dropped his hand. He cocked his head questioningly. "What do you mean?", he asked. “I don't know my name. I don't know what happened at all. Where are we anyway?”, Ciel said. Sebastian was speechless. He frowned and looked at Ciel questioningly. 

"What can you remember?", he wanted to know. Ciel thought for a moment. “I have a vague memory of my childhood. But I can't remember anything that happened after I was five or six years old. How old am I now?”, Ciel said. "You are sixteen years old.", Sebastian explained. Ciel widened his eyes. "What's your freshest memory?", asked Sebastian. “The last thing I know is that I woke up in this room. I was tied up and all around me were these men who ran around and talked and suddenly ran away. Then you came and took me here with you. Wherever we are now.", Ciel explained. Sebastian nodded thoughtfully. 

“We are at the Phantomhive manor. In your home. You're the Earl Ciel Phantomhive.”, Sebastian explained. Ciel blinked in surprise. “I am an Earl? At age sixteen?”, he asked surprised. “You inherited the title so early because your father passed away prematurely. You're the only living Phantomhive.", Sebastian explained. Ciel dropped his head in concern. Sebastian eyed Ciel thoughtfully. Somehow he had to find a way to heal his master. But that had to wait a moment. First he had to take care of his confused Master. The poor boy now had a lot of new things to process. 

Sebastian got up and stroked Ciel's hair, which made Ciel look up at him in surprise. “You must be exhausted. And it's getting late. I suggest you take a rest.", Sebastian said and gave Ciel a smile, which he hoped looked reassuring. Ciel nodded slowly and dropped into the bed. He kicked his shoes off and snuggled against the pillow. Sebastian smiled relieved when he saw that Ciel nodded off after a moment. Apparently he had said the right thing. He put the blanket on Ciel, stroked his hair and waited until Ciel was sound asleep, then left the room. 

Sebastian ran back to the lab. He searched it, but the scientists apparently had left nothing but the bodies. Not a single document or elixir stood around. Sebastian searched the whole building in no time but found nothing. He lit it and followed the scientists' trail. Soon he found the group and made a few targeted attacks on their legs to prevent them from escaping. He took one at a time and asked the same questions over and over until he got the answers he wanted. 

"What did you do to Earl Phantomhive?", asked Sebastian. "We gave him a serum that deletes his memory.", one of the men admitted. "What is the antidote for this serum?", asked Sebastian. "There isn't any.", was the answer. Sebastian smiled. "Certainly not? Don't you want to save your life and make one?”, he asked. He had to endure some stammering before he got the answer. “There is simply no antidote. The only chance is to wait for the serum to stop working.”, said one of them. Sebastian thanked them, killed the men and destroyed all the material they had brought with them. 

“That would end this case. If only the young master hadn't suffered so much from it. The queen is a bit reckless with her watchdog. Does she never consider that she wouldn't get a replacement for him?", Sebastian muttered to himself as he walked back to the manor. Once there, he came into Ciel's bedroom for a moment. Ciel slept peacefully and held onto his pillow. A smile crossed Sebastian's face as he looked at that. Then he went and started his preparations for the next day. After all, it was late at night and Sebastian had already endured more than enough delays for a day.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Sebastian made tea, ironed the newspaper and prepared breakfast. His thoughts revolved around his master. He didn't know if he should act any differently. His plan was to carry on as usual. Sure, Ciel's appointments had to be postponed, he had to take it easy in the near future. But otherwise the daily routine would remain the same. After all, there didn't seem to be anything else Sebastian could do. He could only wait for Ciel's memories to come back. 

Sebastian pushed the trolley over to Ciel's bedroom. He knocked and came in. Ciel was still lying in his bed, just as Sebastian had last seen him. Sebastian opened the curtains, then went to the bed and placed his hand on Ciel's shoulder. “Wake up, young master. It's already morning.”, he said. Ciel made unwilling noises and pressed his face into his pillow. Sebastian smiled and stroked Ciel's hair. To his surprise, Ciel leaned into the touch. He sat up and held Sebastian's hand on his head. Sebastian leaned over and examined him closely. Ciel was still looking a little pale, but his forehead was no longer hot. His eyes weren't completely open. He had to rub them several times to be a little more awake. 

Ciel looked up at Sebastian sleepily. He looked at him for a long time and blinked. "Oh..... Good... morning.", he mumbled softly. Sebastian smiled at him. He went to the trolley and poured Ciel a cup of tea which he handed to Ciel. Ciel looked back and forth between him and the cup, undecided. “Today I made a sweet breakfast. The tea is Earl Gray from Fortnum and Mason. Do you want to read the newspaper?”, Sebastian asked. Ciel looked at his cup in surprise, then looked up again at Sebastian. "You made breakfast?", he asked quietly. Sebastian nodded. “But that can wait. First drink your tea. Meanwhile I'll get some fresh clothes.“, Sebastian said. 

He went into Ciel's dressing room and chose a dark blue suit with a white shirt and red bow. When he came back, Ciel was sipping his tea. He held the cup so carefully and closed his eyes as he always did. Sebastian smiled at the sight. Ciel was just cute. He put the clothes on Ciel's bed and looked thoughtfully at Ciel. "Since you didn't have a bath last night, we should make up for that. You must be sweaty after sleeping in warm clothes for a night.", he said and picked up Ciel. Ciel blinked in confusion and hesitantly held on to Sebastian as he was carried into the adjoining bathroom. 

Sebastian put him down and ran warm water into the bathtub, then started to unbutton Ciel's shirt. Ciel flinched back. He quickly took a few steps backwards. "What... what are you doing?", he stuttered, blushing. Sebastian cocked his head questioningly. “I'm taking off your clothes, of course. You don't want me to bathe you clothed, do you?”, he asked. Ciel turned away and held his shirt closed. "But... you can't stay here while I... You... Then you would see me... naked.", he stuttured upset. Sebastian couldn't help chuckle at that. "What's funny about that?", Ciel wanted to know angrily. 

Sebastian walked up to him and grabbed his shirt. “Young master, I've been bathing you every evening for years. I know how you look naked. One more time doesn't make a difference.”, he said in an unsuccessful attempt to calm Ciel down. Ciel turned his head away and pushed Sebastian's hands away. His face was bright red. “That's even worse! I don't want anyone to see me naked. I don't want to!”, he shouted. "You do not have to worry. I shall look away if you want.”, Sebastian told him, but Ciel shook his head and tried hard to push Sebastian's hands away. Tears welled up in his eyes and his face was red like a tomato. "I said no!", Ciel called and slapped Sebastian. His hand hit Sebastian's cheek with such force that he tossed Sebastian's head to one side. Immediately Ciel froze and stared at Sebastian's cheek in shock. 

Sebastian didn't notice the look he gave him at first. He used Ciel's frozen state to unbutton his shirt further. “It's not that bad. And it doesn't take long either. You don't have to...“, he started, but he broke off the sentence and paused when he noticed that tears were running down Ciel's face. "Young master? What is it?”, he asked puzzled. Ciel sobbed. Carefully he touched Sebastian's cheek with his fingertips where he had hit him. "I'm... I'm so sorry... I... I didn't mean to... I'm sorry...", Ciel sobbed. He hid the face in hands and whimpered softly. 

Sebastian stared at his master, completely perplexed. He had barely felt the slap and didn't understand why Ciel suddenly got so upset. What should he do now to calm Ciel down? What did a normal human do in such a situation? Ciel looked so vulnerable and sad. He seemed desperate. Sebastian carefully came closer to him and wrapped his arms around Ciel's torso as gently as he could. Careful not to crush him, he hugged Ciel. "It's okay. Everything is okay. Ssh. Everything's fine.”, he muttered in what he hoped was a calming tone. To his relief, it seemed to be working. Ciel leaned against him and held onto his tailcoat. Encouraged by this behavior, Sebastian tightened his grip a little and gently stroked Ciel's hair. Ciel seemed to have liked that earlier, so it seemed certain to Sebastian that it would work now. 

Indeed Ciel's sobs subsided and he gradually relaxed. Sebastian watched with fascination as Ciel calmed down in his arms. He wiped his tears away and looked up at Sebastian. “I'm sorry that I hit you. I didn't mean to. Does it hurt a lot?”, Ciel asked hesitantly. Sebastian successfully suppressed a laugh. "Young master, I almost didn't notice it.", he said. Ciel let out a sigh of relief. He took a step away from Sebastian and tried to undo the buttons on his shirt. “You can bathe me if you want. I'll behave good.", he promised. 

Sebastian helped him out of his clothes, while Ciel avoided his gaze as best as he could. He let Sebastian put him in the bathtub, where he immediately pulled up his legs and put his arms around his knees. Sebastian took off his tailcoat and rolled up his sleeves. He got the soap and a sponge and carefully began to soap and scrub Ciel. Ciel blushed and squirmed under the touch. It took some effort to keep still as he had promised. Sebastian kept assuring him that everything was fine, which made Ciel relax a bit. While Sebastian massaged soap into his hair, he even closed his eyes in relaxation. Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that. 

"Young master? Why don't you want anyone to see you naked? What's so bad about it?”, Sebastian wanted to know. Ciel opened his eyes and looked at Sebastian in surprise. "Well, because...", he muttered, looking away. He turned his head away from Sebastian and hid his face between his arms. Sebastian leaned closer to him and carefully placed a hand on Ciel's back. "Why?", he asked. Ciel gulped and took a deep breath. "Because I'm ashamed of being so small and ugly.", he said, closing his eyes. There was absolute silence after he said that. Ciel opened one eye again and looked at Sebastian to see his reaction. He seemed almost frozen, but the corners of his mouth twitched. 

"What's so funny?", Ciel asked uncertainly. Sebastian cleared his throat. “This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You? Ugly? You of all people? I must have misunderstood you.”, he said. Ciel looked up in surprise. "What do you mean by that?", he wanted to know. Sebastian pulled Ciel closer to him and placed his hand on his cheek. He ran his thumb over Ciel's skin. “I've lived for a long time and have seen a lot of people, but I didn't find any of them anywhere near as beautiful as you. You have skin like porcellain, hair like silk, eyes like precious gems. Your stature is delicate and fine, your hands as tender as flowers. You are a feast for the eyes of the highest goodness. I can't put into words how beautiful you are. There are no words that are good enough.", Sebastian explained. 

Ciel's eyes widened more and more. "That... you can't possibly mean that seriously.", he muttered. "I never lie to you.", Sebastian assured him. He hugged Ciel for a moment, then washed the soap off of him. He gently dried Ciel and wrapped him in a large towel. While brushing Ciel's hair he noticed that Ciel was still red in the face, but this time it wasn't because he was ashamed. The compliments had made Ciel so happy that he let Sebastian dress him up without protest. Sebastian hurried so that Ciel wouldn't feel uncomfortable for too long. When he was done he led Ciel out of the bedroom and into the dining room for breakfast.


	3. Chapter 3

Ciel watched with wide eyes as Sebastian served him breakfast. "Is all of that really for me?", he asked. Sebastian smiled and nodded. “Yes, every single bite. Please enjoy your meal.", he said and bowed to Ciel. While Ciel hesitantly began to eat, he went to the kitchen, where the other servants were eating their own breakfast and talking. "Good morning, Sebastian.", Finny called and waved to Sebastian. "Yo! How is the young master today?”, Bard asked cheerfully. Sebastian sat down at the end of the table and folded his hands in front of him. 

“I have something important to tell you all about the young master. Listen to me carefully.”, he said. The four fell silent and looked at him intently. “Yesterday afternoon the young master was kidnapped. A group of criminal scientists had him under their control for some time and when I freed the young master, he did not recognize me. He didn't even know his own name.", Sebastian told them. The four exchanged startled looks. "But what exactly does that mean now?", asked Meyrin. 

“It means that the young master has lost his memory. He remembers next to nothing. According to my research, there is no cure and we have no choice but to wait for his memories to come back on their own.”, explained Sebastian. Finny gasped for air. "Does that mean he doesn't know us anymore?", he shouted. "That's what I'm assuming. So I want to introduce you to him. Eat up quickly, then we'll go to him.”, Sebastian said and got up. 

Sebastian went back into the dining room, followed by the four servants. Ciel had already finished eating and had gotten up. He stood at the window and gazed at the garden with a wide eye. When he heard Sebastian come in, he turned around. “Does all that belong with the manor? Oh? Who are these people?”, he asked, looking at the four. "He really doesn't remember.", Finny stated sadly. Sebastian motioned for them to line up. 

"Young master, this is the maid Meyrin.", he said and pointed to Meyrin. She curtsied and almost lost her balance. "This is Finnian, the gardener.", Sebastian continued. Finny waved cheerfully to Ciel. "That's the chef Bard and that's the lackey Snake.", Sebastian added and pointed to the two of them. "Hello.", said Ciel. "Good morning, says Emily.", Snake replied and lifted up said snake. Ciel blinked in amazement when he saw the animal. “Otherwise there is the steward Tanaka, who currently drinks tea in the kitchen. So now you know all the residents of your manor, young master.", Sebastian said. After Ciel had greeted the servants, Sebastian sent them away to start their work. 

Ciel came up to Sebastian. "May I take a look at the garden and the manor?", he asked. Sebastian blinked confused. “Young master, you are the master of this house. You don't have to ask anyone's permission, especially not your butler's. Of course you may.", he explained. "Oh. Right. Well then.”, Ciel muttered and looked at the floor, embarrassed. Sebastian bowed to him. “If you need something then just ring one of the bell strings. There are quite many all around the house.”, he said. Then he went to go about his work. 

Ciel watched him go away until he turned a corner and disappeared. He took a deep breath and looked around. Everything he had seen of his manor so far looked noble and expensive. Ciel started walking reluctantly. He went down several corridors and looked out the windows. The green area outside looked neat and beautiful. The same went for the inside of the manor. Every room that Ciel peeked into was beautifully decorated, clean, and impressed him. Ciel couldn't believe that it should all be his. After searching for a while, he found his way into the garden. He went outside and walked along a path between flower beds. 

When he stopped to look at the white roses, he heard voices in the distance. He quickly hid behind a tree. When he looked out from behind it he saw Finny and Meyrin talking to each other while they were pulling weeds. He didn't hear much of their conversation, but he could hear the words 'young master'. He was shocked to find that they were talking about him. He wondered if they liked him or if they were tired of serving a child like him. Most of all he didn't want to hear which one it was. As fast as he could he ran away and back into the manor. 

He ran through the hallways and up the stairs. At the landing he stumbled over the highest step and fell down. Ciel sat up and rubbed the aching knee that he had first hit the floor with. He sat there to catch his breath. To his shock, he was completely out of breath, even though he hadn't run long or far. He pulled the knees close and put his arms around them. With his head bowed, he waited for his breathing to calm down. Only then did he get up and look around. Should he go down the left aisle now? Or was it the right one? Which direction had he come from that morning when Sebastian had led him to the dining room? Ciel stood there for a while, trying to remember, but he just couldn't. 

Spontaniously he chose a direction and went down the hall. He opened every door and looked into the room beyond, but none of them was his bedroom. He walked down the whole corridor until he realized with frustration that he had walked in the wrong direction. Ciel sighed deeply and turned around. In the other direction it took time to find the right door. At last he came into his study, through which he came to his bedroom. After a few steps he stopped in surprise. 

Sebastian was sitting at his desk, leafing through a pile of papers. He looked up when he heard Ciel enter. "Already back? How do you like your manor, young master?”, he asked. Ciel looked at the papers in Sebastian's hand. "It is nice. What are you doing there?”, he wanted to know. “These are documents that concern Funtom. Funtom is the sweets and toy company that is yours. Since you don't know what to do with it at the moment, I'll take care of the most important things for you.", Sebastian explained. Ciel stared at Sebastian in amazement. “You... do my job? But... you must be so busy yourself. Such a large manor... Keeping it all clean, coordinating the servants. Your job must be exhausting. And still you do my job too? Because of me you have so much to do... ", Ciel stuttered sadly. 

Sebastian blinked in surprise. "Young master...", he started, but Ciel ran past him into his bedroom and closed the door. Sebastian sorted the papers and put them aside, then went to the bedroom door and knocked. He opened it a crack and looked inside. Ciel was curled up on his bed with the pillow pulled over his head. Sebastian came in and sat down on the edge of the bed. He placed a hand on Ciel's shoulder and stroked it gently. “Young master, you don't need to worry. I can do a lot of work easily.”, he said. 

Ciel peeked out from behind his pillow. “But it's my fault that you have more work to do now. I'm sorry.”, Ciel muttered. Sebastian chuckled softly. "You're so cute. Why don't you understand that you don't have to apologize? It's not your fault that you lost your memories. And it's not a burden to take care of you.”, Sebastian explained. Reluctantly, Ciel put the pillow aside. Sebastian gave him a smile. “It must be hard for you not to be able to remember. Don't be so hard on yourself. And now take a rest and don't worry about me.“, Sebastian said, stroking Ciel's hair, then he went back to his work. Ciel watched him leave and then hid under his pillow again.


	4. Chapter 4

Sebastian did Ciel's paperwork, then went down to the kitchen, fixed what the other servants had broken in the meantime, and cooked lunch. When he was done he went back to Ciel. Ciel was still in his bed, just like Sebastian had left him. He sat up and looked questioningly at Sebastian when he came into his room and bowed to him. "Lunch is ready.", said Sebastian. Ciel reluctantly let go of his pillow. He followed Sebastian down into the dining room and watched with a growling stomach as Sebastian served him the food. 

After he had eaten everything, Sebastian led Ciel back into his bedroom. At least at first Ciel thought they were going there, but Sebastian chose a slightly different route than before. Ciel was just considering asking about it when he realized that Sebastian had led him to the library. Ciel stopped and looked around in surprise. There was seemingly an infinite number of books, all neatly sorted. Ciel didn't even know where to start. Sebastian watched him from the side and smiled when he saw Ciel's surprise. “I thought you must be bored. Maybe you want to read something.", he said. 

Ciel nodded hesitantly and went to one of the shelves. He saw a book that he recognized standing in the top row and reached for it. He got on his tiptoes and stretched his arm as long as possible, but he just couldn't get close to it. He was too small for that. Ciel was about to give up when he suddenly felt Sebastian's arms wrapping around him. Sebastian picked him up so that Ciel could take the book without any problems. Ciel blushed and pressed the book to his chest. "Thank you.", he muttered softly. Sebastian carried him to an armchair and sat him in it. He stroked Ciel's hair briefly, then bowed and left. He didn't see how Ciel blushed even more and placed his hand on his head, where Sebastian's hand had just been. Ciel sighed and sank back in the chair. He opened the book and began reading it. 

He had already read through the book and was busy with the next when Sebastian came back in. He had a trolley and an envelope with him. “Today I made a gateau au chocolat for afternoon tea. There is also Darjeeling tea.”, Sebastian informed, while he put a plate with cake and a cup of tea on the small table next to Ciel. Ciel's mouth watered at the sight. He picked up his fork and tried the cake. "That is delicious. Thank you, Sebastian.", he said and began to eat greedily. Sebastian smiled at that. “You always liked chocolate. I thought, maybe that can cheer you up a bit.", he said. Ciel looked up in surprise. "You are so nice to me.", he muttered. "Oh no. I'm just one hell of a butler.", Sebastian replied and bowed. 

“Oh and something else. Some samples of the new plush toy collection from Funtom have arrived. You should examine them and give your opinion on them.", he added. Ciel nodded and ate up quickly. After drinking his tea, he followed Sebastian into his study, where there were some boxes with stuffed animals. Sebastian had already carried them upstairs and opened them. Ciel looked at the stuffed animals in amazement. He picked up a white plush rabbit with red eyes and a black vest and examined it. "They look so cute.", he muttered. 

On an impulse, he took the rabbit in his arms and hugged it. He pressed his face to the rabbit's head and nuzzled it. "So soft.", he muttered, stroking the long ears. Ciel didn't want to let go of the rabbit, but when he heard Sebastian chuckle softly, he dropped it abruptly. Blushing, he took a few steps back. "I... I... I didn't mean... So... It's just very soft. I don't want it or anything. It's not like I'm that childlike. Stop laughing!", he stuttered ashamed, his eyes fixed on the floor. “My apologies, young master. The sight was so cute that I couldn't hold back.", Sebastian said. 

He picked up the rabbit and approached Ciel. He crouched a little in front of Ciel in order to be at eye level with him. "Why do you think you shouldn't do that? How do you get the idea that it would be bad if you wanted this?”, he asked and held it out to Ciel. Ciel hesitantly held out his hands for it, but did not take it. Confused, he looked up at Sebastian. His shy look from that big blue eye did something to Sebastian's heart that he couldn't understand. 

He put the rabbit in Ciel's hands. “You have no reason to think that you are a burden. It's all right.", said Sebastian emphatically. Ciel nodded hesitantly and looked down. Sebastian straightened up again. “If that's okay with you, I'll write to the manufacturers that these plush toys meet your expectations and can go into production. They don't expect the samples back. You can keep them all if you want.”, he said. Ciel nodded. "Yes, write to them.", he said. While Sebastian went to the desk, Ciel put his rabbit back in the box. Then he left the room and ran back to the library.


	5. Chapter 5

When Ciel entered his bedroom that evening, he saw that the plush rabbit was sitting on his pillow. He stared at it in amazement while Sebastian changed his clothes, wondering whether or not to say something about it. On the one hand he was happy to have it, on the other hand he feared it meant that Sebastian thought of him as a small child. Sebastian followed his gaze with his eyes and smiled. “I figured it wasn't a bad decoration. It goes perfectly with the color of the bedding, doesn't it?”, he said. While he was putting Ciel's clothes away, Ciel sat down on his bed and laid the rabbit next to him. 

Sebastian covered Ciel with the blanket and stroked his hair. "I wish you a good night.", he said. Ciel leaned into the touch. "Yes. Good night to you too.”, he mumbled tiredly. It was only a few moments before he could no longer keep his eyes open. Sebastian pet him a little more until he fell asleep. Sebastian gazed at him with a smile. His young master was so cute. Then Sebastian blew out the candles and left the room. 

Sebastian went down to the kitchen and shooed the rest of the servants into their beds. Then he made his usual tour of the manor. It was a quiet night. The moonlight shone brightly on the manor and illuminated the corridors through which Sebastian walked. When he was sure that everything was okay, he went back to Ciel's bedroom. In the meantime, Ciel had turned on his side and snuggled up against his rabbit. 

He looked so cute the way he clutched it and snuggled into it. His face was relaxed. His eyelashes seemed to touch his cheeks. Sebastian stroked his silky hair. By now he had found that Ciel liked it when he did that. Even now it did not miss its function. Ciel made a pleased noise in his sleep and turned to Sebastian, the rabbit clutched tight in his arms. Sebastian smiled as he pet Ciel. His master was so cute and looked so innocent. Like a clueless angel. While Sebastian continued to pet him and think about it, a thought suddenly occurred to him. He froze in motion and widened his eyes. 

Ciel really was clueless. He didn't know what had happened to him when he was ten. Little did he know that as a result he had made a contract with a demon. He didn't know Sebastian was a demon who would get his soul when Ciel got his revenge. If Ciel still wanted his revenge. And how could Ciel want revenge if he knew nothing of what he wanted to avenge? Sebastian withdrew his hand slowly and stared at Ciel. The contract was basically broken. Which meant that Sebastian could now have Ciel's soul. 

Sebastian gulped hard. He turned away from Ciel and hid his face in his hands. In his mind he went over everything carefully. He found no catch or mistake. It was really true. He could take Ciel's soul now. Sebastian stared at the floor in disbelief. Very slowly he turned back to Ciel, who was sleeping peacefully and had no idea that his life was now in danger. Sebastian hadn't thought that his contract with Ciel would come to such an abrupt end. Was it really over already? Shouldn't he wait a little longer? 

Sebastian shook his head at himself. How stupid of him to think that way. What demon would give up on such a delicious soul that he had worked for so long when it was within reach? Sebastian took a deep breath and mentally said goodbye to his previous life. He would miss it. But what he would miss most was Ciel. Sebastian leaned over Ciel and propped himself up on his elbows on Ciel's left and right. He took off his gloves and took Ciel's face in his hands. Ciel was so small and delicate. And he looked so cute. Sebastian found himself hesitating. 

He forced himself to bend closer over Ciel and to touch Ciel's lips with his own in order to suck the soul out of his mouth and eat it. Sebastian was immediately distracted. Ciel's lips were so soft and warm. He couldn't resist the urge to kiss them. He pressed his lips gently to Ciel's mouth, touched it very tenderly. Ciel made a pleased noise in his sleep when Sebastian let his tongue lick over Ciel's lower lip. 

Startled by himself, Sebastian brought more distance between himself and Ciel again. He swallowed and licked his lips. Ciel lay unsuspecting and soundly asleep below him and subconsciously hugged his rabbit. He didn't know anything about the inner battle Sebastian was fighting over him. Sebastian tried to convince himself, even forcing himself to take Ciel's soul. But he felt such a resistance inside that he couldn't do it. He just couldn't do any harm to his young master. Above all, he didn't want it either. The thought of not waking up Ciel tomorrow and watching him open his eyes and drink tea hurt Sebastian down to the last cell. 

Sebastian sat up and shook his head. He was a very stupid demon that he spared Ciel so easily. He tried to convince himself that he was doing it because he had no appetite right now. Because he wanted to wait for Ciel's revenge, which would certainly make Ciel's soul even more delicious. Yes, that had to be the reason for his hesitation. Sebastian got up and tugged at his tailcoat. Hesitantly, he took another look at Ciel. 

He could always take his soul another time. Maybe tomorrow night. After all, Ciel couldn't run away from him. He didn't even know he had reason to run away. No, Ciel slept as peacefully as if the whole world was all right. Sebastian couldn't resist stroking through Ciel's hair one more time. When Ciel snuggled into his hand, Sebastian's heart beat faster. He felt the overwhelming urge to protect Ciel, to hug him, to kiss him again. It was so strong that it frightened Sebastian. He turned on his heel and ran away.


	6. Chapter 6

Sebastian spent the whole night running all around England to vent his feelings. He needed a clear head and a normal heartbeat again. He couldn't think clearly like this. A strange feeling gnawed at Sebastian. It almost felt like he had a guilty conscience. He couldn't say for sure, of course, since he'd never had anything like it before, so he tried to push the suspicion away. He returned to the Phantomhive estate at sunrise and cleaned his shoes before starting the preparations for breakfast. 

When Sebastian came into Ciel's bedroom he was a little nervous. He woke Ciel very carefully and watched tensely as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. For an unreasonable moment, he assumed that Ciel was mad at him because of last night. Of course that wasn't true, after all, Ciel didn't know about anything. Neither about Sebastian's attempt to steal his soul, nor about the kiss that had resulted from it. Sebastian gulped hard. Annoyed with himself, he found that his eyes were fixed on Ciel's lips. They had been so soft and sweet. Sebastian quickly turned away. He absolutely had to forget that kiss. 

In silence he dressed Ciel and led him downstairs to the dining room where he served him his breakfast. While Ciel was busy with the meal, Sebastian left the room and went to his bedroom. He studied himself carefully in the mirror and wondered if Ciel could tell what he was thinking. Usually the two of them had such a wordless understanding between them that Sebastian sometimes thought that Ciel could read his mind, but now that Ciel couldn't remember anything, that was of course not the case. Sebastian smacked his own cheeks. “Pull yourself together, Sebastian. You're one hell of a butler.”, he muttered to himself. He took a deep breath and left his room to start his work. 

First he went into the kitchen and assigned tasks to the other servants. Then he got a feather duster and a cleaning cloth and went to put things in order. Sebastian started in the library. He freed the book spines from dust, sorted the books by genre and alphabet and noticed that he was being watched. Ciel stood hidden behind a shelf and peeked through a gap between two books. Sebastian assumed that Ciel was here to read, so he didn't speak to him and went on to the billiards room. He polished the balls and the surface of the little tables at the walls. Ciel's look through the door was like a tingling sensation on Sebastian's neck. When Sebastian left the room, he looked around, but Ciel was nowhere to be seen. 

Sebastian went on. He cleaned the windows, wiped tables, replaced the flowers in the vases, and so on. And the whole time he was doing this, Ciel was hiding near him and watching him. Maybe he was just curious about what Sebastian was doing, maybe it was some kind of hide-and-seek. Sebastian didn't know. He let Ciel have it and pretended not to notice him until he was done. Sebastian put away his cleaning supplies, then walked down the corridor. 

He turned a corner, stopped, and turned around. He only had to wait a moment before Ciel ran around the corner and collided with Sebastian's chest. Ciel stumbled backwards and was caught by Sebastian's arms. Startled he looked up at Sebastian and blushed. Sebastian gave him a smile. “I can't imagine that it's particularly exciting, watching me at work. Are you sure you wouldn't rather do something else, young master?”, he asked. "I... I just wanted... I... Well... Do I get on your nerves?", Ciel stammered softly. "No. You would never get on my nerves.", Sebastian replied. Ciel sighed in relief. For a while he and Sebastian stood facing each other in silence. "Well then. I have to keep working.”, Sebastian finally said, turned around and went on. 

Behind him he could hear Ciel's hasty footsteps. He stopped and looked over his shoulder. Ciel froze mid-step and looked at Sebastian with a wide eye. Sebastian waited a moment, then moved he on. He went down the hall to the stairs, then stopped again. Ciel froze again and didn't move until Sebastian walked on. They were almost at the kitchen when Sebastian stopped again. He turned to Ciel and studied him. “You know, I'm actually trying to give you time to catch up. You don't have to stay three feet behind me.”, he explained. Ciel looked at him in surprise. Hesitantly he came closer until he was standing next to Sebastian. He looked up at him and relaxed a bit when Sebastian smiled at him. 

As soon as they arrived in the kitchen, Meyrin jumped at Sebastian and clung to him. Crying, she apologized for accidentally polishing the silverware with olive oil instead of the correct detergent. Sebastian pushed her to Bard, whom he told to calm her down, then took a closer look at the silverware. He wondered how best to clean it up. His mind skipped to lunch and the other dishes. He turned around to give instructions, but found that the servants were all staring past him in surprise. 

Sebastian turned around and saw that they were staring at Ciel, who was half hiding behind the door. "It's okay. You can come here if you want to.”, said Sebastian. Ciel ran from the door to him and shyly held onto Sebastian's tailcoat. "We'll be a bit busy now, but you can stay here and watch if you want to.", Sebastian said. Ciel nodded and sat down on a chair that Sebastian adjusted for him. The chair was so high that Ciel's feet couldn't reach the floor. Ciel dangled his legs back and forth. His gaze remained on Sebastian and he watched attentively as Sebastian worked.


	7. Chapter 7

In the end, Ciel stayed with Sebastian all day. With a keen curious eye he watched Sebastian do his work. Sometimes he would open his mouth to ask a question or say something, but then change his mind. He remained silent the whole time and kept giving Sebastian uncertain glances from the side. Sebastian realized that something was bothering Ciel. Although he would have liked to know what it was, he didn't ask Ciel about it. He feared it would only scare Ciel off. 

Only in the evening when Sebastian pulled the covers over Ciel did Ciel open his mouth to say something. "Are you mad at me? Is it because I'm useless?”, Ciel asked in a low voice. Sebastian paused in surprise and looked at Ciel's face that Ciel then hid under the blanket. "How did you come up with something like that? I am not mad at you. And you are not useless.", Sebastian replied. Ciel peeked over the edge of the blanket. “You hardly looked at me this morning and were silent the whole time. You seem like you're depressed about something. I thought maybe I'm getting on your nerves.", Ciel muttered. 

Sebastian sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked Ciel's hair. "I was just thinking about something bothering.", he explained. Ciel relaxed and snuggled into Sebastian's hand. "I wonder if you've always been so sensitive and just never showed it.", Sebastian muttered. Ciel looked up at him curiously and pushed the covers down a little. "Am I normally not like now?", he asked. “Normally you have more confidence. I got to know you as a grumpy boy. Of course, I don't know if that was a facade you built around your vulnerable self. I could imagine that as a child you were like you are now.”, Sebastian explained. 

"Do you mind?", Ciel wanted to know. Sebastian smiled and shook his head. “Whether you are shy or in a bad mood, you are you. That doesn't change. You are my young master. You will never get on my nerves.", Sebastian explained. A shy smile appeared on Ciel's face. He snuggled into his pillow and closed his eyes. “Good night, Sebastian. I'm so glad I have you. ”, he muttered. A moment later he fell asleep. 

Sebastian's hand stayed on Ciel's head. Again he found himself in the same situation as the night before. Again he had the opportunity to take Ciel's soul. Sebastian sighed. Ciel's words echoed in his head. They caused a strange pull in his chest. It was so confusing. Maybe Sebastian should cut this stupid heart out of his shell and throw it away. But that just wouldn't change how he felt. Sebastian got up and put out the candles. 

He went to the window and looked out. Maybe he would do Ciel a favor by killing him now. Then he could die happily. He wouldn't even know he was dying, so he wouldn't be afraid. Yes, right, even morals favored taking Ciel's soul. So why did everything in Sebastian resist? It would be so easy. And it would be so very worth it. Sebastian sighed and leaned his head against the window pane. His gaze slid into the garden and beyond it into the forest. 

He paused and raised his head. His eyes glowed red. There was something there. Something that had no business being there. Sebastian turned to go to the door. His gaze fell on Ciel, who was snuggled up against his rabbit. Sebastian hesitated for a moment, but then turned away. There was nothing against letting him survive another night. Sebastian left the manor and ran into the woods. He jumped up to the branch of a tree and watched a group of armed men creep through the undergrowth. “The Phantomhive manor is right up there. Now we can take revenge for our fallen colleagues.”, one of the men said to his buddies who nodded to him. 

Sebastian frowned. He had thought he had eliminated all the members of the mercenary group that the scientists had hired. But apparently not all of them had been there. Sebastian jumped from the branch and landed on the speaker's neck, which immediately broke under his weight. The other men backed away, startled. “Who's there?”, one of them called out. They held up their guns and pointed them at Sebastian. Sebastian adjusted his gloves. “I have already decided that the young master will not die tonight. Especially not through anyone other than me. You really shouldn't have come here.”, he growled. 

The men started shooting at him, but Sebastian caught the bullets and threw them back with enough speed to be lethal. In a few moments he killed most of them. A few ran away, but Sebastian was faster. He broke their necks or slit their throats. He tore the heart out of a particularly stubborn man. He threw it away and looked around. Nobody had escaped and nobody showed any signs of life. Sebastian made his way back. 

As he went into the kitchen he felt an uncomfortable pull in his hand. He already knew this feeling well, he always got it when Ciel was afraid. Sebastian hastily made a hot milk with honey and hurried into Ciel's bedroom. As he had expected Ciel was already awake. He sat shaking on his bed and hugged the rabbit tightly. He flinched when Sebastian came in. "Do not worry. It's me. I made you hot milk.", Sebastian said and handed the cup to Ciel. Ciel looked at him in surprise. He sipped the milk carefully, then took several gulps. 

Sebastian smiled in relief when he saw Ciel relax. After just a few moments, Ciel returned the empty cup to Sebastian. His gaze stayed on Sebastian's hands. "Lay back down. I'm sure you won't have any more nightmares anymore.", Sebastian said. Ciel looked up at him. "How did you know I was having a nightmare?", he asked. "I could feel it.", Sebastian replied truthfully. Ciel just looked at him but asked no further questions. Instead, he lay back in his bed and pulled the covers over himself. 

"Is that your blood on your gloves?", he wanted to know. Sebastian froze. He frowned and looked aside. Little did Ciel know that Sebastian had no problem killing someone. Sensitive and shy as he was now, he might not welcome it as he had before. Sebastian would have loved to lie now, but he couldn't. "No.", he said quietly. Ciel looked at him for a moment, with an expression Sebastian couldn't read. "Then everything is fine.", Ciel finally mumbled and snuggled back into his pillow. Sebastian looked up in surprise and studied Ciel. It really didn't seem to bother him. 

Ciel took the rabbit in his arms, then looked up at Sebastian. “Would you stay here a little longer? Only until I fall asleep.”, he asked softly. Sebastian nodded. "Of course. As long as you want.", he replied. Ciel smiled and closed his eyes. He relaxed and after a short while slept soundly again. Sebastian sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at Ciel. His stupid heart was beating faster again. A memory wanted to come up in Sebastian's mind, to break out of the prison of his subconscious, but he successfully resisted and pushed it back down. He didn't want to think about it. Under no circumstance. He just wanted to sit here quietly and look at Ciel's beautiful face and make sure that he didn't have bad dreams again.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day, too, Ciel followed Sebastian around. He still kept his distance and he had a tendency to run away sometimes only to hesitantly come back later. Apparently he was terrified of annoying Sebastian. Sebastian reassured him again and again that this would not happen, but Ciel still considered himself a burden. Eventually he even started crying. He was about to run away again when the tears came, but Sebastian held him tight. 

Sebastian sat down on an armchair and pulled Ciel onto his lap so that Ciel was stradling his lap. Sebastian wrapped one arm around Ciel's waist, and ran the other hand through his hair over and over again. Ciel hid his face in Sebastian's chest and sobbed softly. "Everything is alright. It's alright. Why do you think so bad of yourself?", Sebastian muttered. He went through the possibilities in his mind. Perhaps by mistake he had given Ciel the impression that he did not like his presence. Although, with all due critical thinking, it couldn't be. After all, he tried so hard and kept reassuring Ciel that he wasn't annoyed by him. 

The only other possible cause Sebastian could think of was the hazy memories of his childhood that Ciel still had. Sebastian didn't know how the Phantomhives raised their young son. Maybe they hadn't been there enough for Ciel. If that was true, it would also be a possible explanation for Ciel's affection for Sebastian. "Young master? Do you see me as a father figure?”, asked Sebastian. Ciel looked up at him in surprise. "No, not at all.", he said. "How do you see me then?", Sebastian wanted to know. Ciel thought about it. "Like... I don't know... just like someone who is important to me.", said Ciel. 

Sebastian looked thoughtfully at Ciel. He placed his hand on Ciel's cheek and looked into his blue eye. "Am I important to you too?", Ciel wanted to know and leaned into Sebastian's hand. Sebastian gulped. "I'm afraid so.", he said softly. Ciel closed his eye and leaned into Sebastian's hand. He let him pet him and didn't cry anymore. 

After finishing his work, Sebastian read one of the Sherlock Holmes stories to Ciel while Ciel sat on his lap. Ciel leaned his head against Sebastian's chest and listened with closed eyes. His hand ran over Sebastian's shoulder and down his arm, down to his hand. Sebastian paused for a moment when Ciel took one of his hands. He held it against his chest with both of his own hands. Sebastian wondered if it made any difference that he had chosen the hand with the contract seal. He didn't say anything but rested his chin on Ciel's head and read on. 

In the evening, Ciel watched Sebastian prepare dinner in the kitchen. He watched Sebastian cut vegetables. When Sebastian had turned his back to Ciel for a moment, he tried it himself. He promptly cut his finger. Sebastian hurried to his side and examined the cut. It wasn't deep, but was bleeding a little. While Bard ran to get the first aid kit, Sebastian put Ciel's finger in his mouth and sucked on it. Ciel blushed, but didn't stop Sebastian. Sebastian drank the little blood that came out of the wound. He licked up every drop. It was the most delicious thing he had ever drunk. Sebastian let go of Ciel's finger with a wet pop and treated the wound. Then he sat Ciel on a chair and forbade him to even think about picking up a knife. Then he went back to work.


	9. Chapter 9

In the evening Sebastian read out the rest of Sherlock Holmes to Ciel. He was sitting in Ciel's bed, Ciel leaning his head on his chest and listening to Sebastian's voice and heartbeat. When Sebastian finished the story and closed the book, Ciel had already fallen asleep. Sebastian put the book aside and blew out the candles. Then he looked down at Ciel. Ciel held onto Sebastian's shirt. Even in his sleep he sought out Sebastian's closeness. 

Sebastian stroked his hair. Slowly he leaned over him and licked Ciel's bottom lip. The few drops of his blood that Sebastian had drunk today must have whetted his appetite. Surely he wouldn't find an excuse this time. After all, he couldn't go on like this and think about Ciel's soul anew every night, but then spare it. Sebastian nipped gently on Ciel's lip. It was as soft as a feather. Like a little pillow made of velvet. 

In his sleep, Ciel made a quiet noise and tightened his grip on Sebastian's shirt. "Sebastian.", he mumbled softly. Sebastian sighed. He leaned his forehead against Ciel's and gave up. He just couldn't. Ciel always had to soften his heart. He always had to be sweet and precious to Sebastian. Sebastian kissed Ciel gently, then leaned back and resigned himself to playing Ciel's pillow for the rest of the night. 

The next day, Sebastian woke up to Ciel gently caressing his cheek. Sebastian jerked up with a start and wondered how he could have fallen asleep. Demons didn't just sleep like that. Even when they did, which was rare, it took a great deal of relaxation to sooth them to sleep. Ciel smiled happily at Sebastian. “You were with me all night. You even held me in your sleep. I'm so happy.", he muttered, blushing. Sebastian gulped and got up quickly. It was like Ciel to be able to bring him to something like peaceful sleep. He had completely wrapped Sebastian around his finger and didn't even know it. 

Embarrassed, Sebastian helped Ciel into his clothes. He accompanied Ciel into the dining room, then went into the kitchen, where the other servants were frantically trying to save the burnt breakfast they had prepared. "There you are! We were already looking for you!”, shouted Bard. Sebastian mumbled an apology for being late and made breakfast, which he then served to Ciel. 

Ciel had just finished breakfast when Meyrin came in. “We have a visitor, yes. It's Miss Elizabeth.”, she said. Sebastian was just about to tell Meyrin to give Elizabeth some excuse that Ciel wasn't there. But it was too late. Lizzy ran into the room and held out her arms to Ciel. "Ciiiieeeel! I've missed you! I thought to myself, I'll visit you!”, she called out in her shrill voice. Ciel jumped up so suddenly that he knocked his chair over. 

He ran away from Lizzy and straight towards Sebastian. Hastily he hid behind Sebastian and clung to his waist. Lizzy stopped for a moment, puzzled, then ran to Sebastian. She wanted to walk around him to get to Ciel, but Sebastian took a step to the side so that he was in her way. "Miss Elizabeth.", he said, but she didn't listen to him, she tried on the other side. Sebastian stepped into her way again. "Miss Elizabeth!", he repeated louder. Surprised by his tone of voice, Lizzy stopped and looked up at him. 

"Miss Elizabeth, the young master doesn't recognize you.", Sebastian said, but she didn't want to listen. "What? But it's me!”, she shouted and wanted to run around Sebastian again, but he held her by the shoulders. “He's lost his memory. He doesn't know who you are.“, said Sebastian. Lizzy finally stopped in motion. She looked at Ciel, who was peekng out from behind Sebastian's back, looking very scared. “Ciel? You really don't know who I am?”, she asked with wide eyes. Ciel didn't answer, but hid behind Sebastian. 

Sebastian turned to him and placed a hand on Ciel's head. "It's okay. She won't hurt you. This is Elizabeth Midford. Your cousin and childhood friend. And your fiancée.", he explained. Ciel looked up at him in shock. "I have a fiancée?", he asked confused. "Your parents arranged that.", Sebastian explained. Lizzy looked past Sebastian to Ciel, who immediately backed away. 

“Did you fall on your head, Ciel? I heard you can get hurt badly if you fall on your head.", she said. “That's not the reason. There was an incident, the details are unimportant.”, Sebastian said and turned back to Lizzy. He placed a hand on his chest and bowed. “I ask you to be careful and patient with the young master. Anything else would be useless and would do nothing but cause harm.", he said. Lizzy nodded. 

Sebastian told the servants to get some sweets and make tea. Then he led Ciel and Lizzy into the garden. Lizzy hooked her arm around Ciel's, Sebastian followed them with a little distance. Ciel kept glancing at him over his shoulder. They walked slowly to the table and chairs between two flower beds. “Don't you know anything anymore? Do you remember what your favorite cake is? Do you remember who is Queen of England?”, asked Lizzy. She asked a lot of questions and Ciel hardly knew which to answer first. 

After stuttering around a bit, Lizzy started telling him all kinds of things. She spoke of their childhoods, of her family, of trips together that she wanted to take with him. Ciel stared at her and nodded along as he chewed on the candy Bard brought. Sebastian considered how he could get Lizzy to leave. Unfortunately, he couldn't think of a good enough reason for her to leave the manor immediately. After all, she was the daughter of a marquis and Ciel's fiancée. She had to be treated with care. It went on Sebastian's nerves terribly to watch how she forgot Sebastian's request and completely overwhelmed Ciel. How could she not have noticed that it was getting too much for Ciel? Ciel looked completely helpless. 

To make matters worse, Sebastian heard an explosion in the kitchen after a while. He sighed, excuded himself, and went to see what the servants had done again. He hurried to scold Bard and take away the flamethrower he'd used to roast the meat for lunch. Then he went back to the garden. No sooner had he stepped on the lawn than Ciel came running towards him. He ran right against Sebastian's chest and held onto him. 

“Is she always like that?”, he asked Sebastian panting. "Yes. What happened to your hand?", Sebastian replied and carefully took one of Ciel's hands in his own. Ciel had several bleeding scratches on his fingertips. "Lizzy suggested that we make flower crowns and I thought the roses would look best on you.", Ciel explained. He held out a rose to Sebastian. "Unfortunately they can't be braided properly.", he added and instead put the rose in Sebastian's buttonhole. Sebastian looked at the flower and smiled. "Thank you, young master.", he said. Ciel smiled. Then he held out his bleeding hand to Sebastian. Sebastian licked his fingers clean.


	10. Chapter 10

Lizzy stayed there for a few hours before she finally returned home. Ciel had to run around the garden with her, play board games with her and let her hug him. In the end he was pretty exhausted. Sebastian brought him to bed a little earlier than usual. Ciel let him bathe him and change his clothes without any resistance at all. Exhausted, he let himself drop on his bed and hugged his plush rabbit. 

Sebastian took off his tailcoat and put it aside, then took off his shoes and sat down next to Ciel on the bed. Ciel immediately snuggled up against him and laid his head on Sebastian's chest. “What a tiring day. This girl is so loud and lively. How did I endure her before?”, he muttered. Sebastian stroked his hair and looked at him with a smile. Ciel lay there for a while. Sebastian thought he was going to fall asleep, but instead he straightened up and looked at Sebastian. 

“When you were gone, she tried to... kiss me. Is that normal? Does she do that often?”, he asked. Sebastian frowned. "As far as I know she has never done that before.", he said. Ciel dropped his head again and sighed. Sebastian looked at him with concern. Something stung in his chest. There was an uncomfortable feeling, as if something was just wrong. "Did it feel good?", he asked quietly. Ciel looked at him questioningly. "Did what feel good?", he asked back. "To kiss her.", Sebastian replied. The thought of a kiss between Lizzy and Ciel made Sebastian so uncomfortable that it tightened his throat. 

Ciel blinked in surprise. “I didn't kiss her. She tried, but I avoided her.”, he explained. Immediately the terrible feeling Sebastian had disappeared. He let out a sigh of relief. Ciel rubbed his head against Sebastian's chest. “I don't understand why she tried that in the first place. Why would someone want to kiss me?”, he muttered. He raised his head and looked questioningly at Sebastian. "Seriously, could you imagine that it would be nice to kiss me?", he wanted to know. 

Sebastian gulped. At moments like these, he regretted that he always had to tell Ciel the truth. "Yes, very much.", he said. Ciel froze and looked at him in amazement. After a moment, the surprise turned into doubt. "You're not serious, are you?", he asked. “Yes, I am. I would love to kiss you.", Sebastian replied. Ciel stared at him with wide eyes. It worried Sebastian that he didn't know what was going on in Ciel's head. Maybe he felt uncomfortable around Sebastian now. Maybe he was disgusted with him. Sebastian gulped hard. 

"Forgive me, I didn't want to...", he started but Ciel shook his head. "You do not have to apologize. That... makes me happy.", he muttered. Ciel sat up on Sebastian's lap and placed his hands on his shoulders. "We could try it.", he suggested. Sebastian blinked at him in surprise. That was too good to be true. "Really? You wouldn't mind if I kissed you?”, he asked. Ciel nodded and licked his lips. Sebastian hugged Ciel carefully. He looked at his mouth, then back into his eyes. "Are you sure?", he asked. Ciel nodded and leaned closer to him. 

Sebastian closed the last gap between them and pressed his lips to Ciel's. Ciel made a soft noise and clutched Sebastian's shoulders. He pressed himself against Sebastian and sighed happily. His eyes closed when Sebastian moved his lips against Ciel's. Hesitantly he opened his mouth. Sebastian let his tongue slide into Ciel's mouth. He licked Ciel's own tongue gently. Ciel moaned softly. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and hugged him. 

Sebastian turned them both over so that Ciel was on his back and Sebastian was on top of him. He kissed Ciel gently, trying to be as loving as possible. After a while they had to separate from each other so that Ciel could breathe again. "That feels so good", Ciel whispered between two deep breaths. Sebastian kissed him again, this time with more passion. He explored Ciel's mouth with his tongue and nipped at Ciel's lower lip. Ciel made the sweetest sounds. Sebastian didn't stop kissing Ciel until he was finally exhausted. Ciel fell asleep snuggled close to Sebastian.


	11. Chapter 11

Deep in thought, Sebastian polished the glass he was holding. He stared straight ahead, not realizing that he had been polishing the same glass for half an hour. His mind revolved around the kiss Ciel had given him. It felt like a dream to him. Maybe it really was a dream. Ciel acted almost as if nothing had happened. He just blushed a little more often when he looked Sebastian in the eyes. 

Sebastian wondered if Ciel had only kissed him because he was curious. Or was it because Ciel had feelings for him? No, impossible. What human would develope feelings for a demon? Although, Ciel didn't know about that at the moment. Maybe Sebastian should tell him. But if he did that, Ciel would surely get scared of him. Sebastian definitely didn't want Ciel to fear him. 

Sebastian finally lowered the glass and looked around. Today Ciel did not follow him through the manor to watch him at work and to be around him. Did Ciel regret the kiss? Was it now uncomfortable to him to be around Sebastian? Sebastian shook his head at himself. He was too worried. It would do him good to see Ciel as a meal and nothing more than that. Unfortunately, he couldn't do that anymore. 

Sebastian put the glass in the cupboard and started looking for Ciel. After all, it wouldn't be bad to know where he was. Who knew whether he would not be kidnapped again. Sebastian looked in Ciel's bedroom, in the library and in the dining room, but found Ciel nowhere. He used his superhuman senses but couldn't feel him anywhere in the house. Sebastian got worried after all. 

Just before he panicked, it occurred to him that Ciel could be in the garden too. He went to the closest window and looked outside. Gray clouds piled up in the sky and Sebastian could see lightning bolts in the distance. The weather did not speak for a walk in the garden. Sebastian ran outside and searched the garden. In fact, it wasn't long before he found Ciel in the far end of the garden. 

Ciel had a bouquet of flowers in his arms. His fingers were scratched by the roses and a little bloody. Ciel watched with wide eyes as the thunderstorm approached. While Sebastian was walking up to him it started to rain. Sebastian stopped next to Ciel and put a hand on Ciel's hip. “Young master, we should go inside. You'll catch a cold.”, he said. The rain was so heavy that it soaked them both in a few moments. 

Ciel looked at Sebastian with a wide eye and nodded. He let him lead him through the garden. The wind hurled raindrops at them with quite some force. Soon Ciel started shaking. Sebastian looked at him thoughtfully. On the spur of the moment he took a different route and went to the greenhouse instead of through the long garden back into the manor. When Sebastian closed the door behind them, Ciel sighed in relief. He went inside and stood in the middle of the many large pots of plants. 

Sebastian studied Ciel's body. His blue suit was soaked with rainwater and stuck skin tight to Ciel's body. He was shivering slightly from the cold. Sebastian came up to him and put his tailcoat around his shoulders. Ciel winced slightly and turned to Sebastian. The two stood very close to each other. Their noses almost touched. 

"When I kissed you, how did you feel? How do you feel around me?“, Sebastian wanted to know quietly. Ciel bowed his head, but Sebastian took his chin between two fingers and pushed it up so that Ciel had to look at him. Ciel was all red in the face. He gulped and searched for words. “Just... so good. Safe and nice. Accepted and liked. It is a great feeling. My heart beats faster when you touch me or smile at me. It makes me happy when you spend time with me. You make me happy.", Ciel explained just as quietly. 

Sebastian placed his hand on Ciel's cheek. He ran his thumb over Ciel's skin. Ciel leaned into his hand. “So you feel the same as I do. That pleases me. My damn affection for you would be even worse for me if you didn't feel the same.”, Sebastian muttered. Again this one memory wanted to break out in his mind, which he suppressed, but this time too he came up against it. 

Ciel looked at Sebastian in amazement. He placed his hand on Sebastian's and took a step closer so that there was hardly any distance between them. Hesitantly, he stood up on his tiptoes and pulled on Sebastian's vest so that he leaned further down to him. He kissed Sebastian very carefully. A low moan escaped him as Sebastian pushed his tongue into Ciel's mouth. The sound triggered something in Sebastian. He felt the urge to hold Ciel and never let go. He wanted Ciel by his side all his life, to allow himself to love and desire him. 

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Ciel's waist and pulled him closer. He hugged him so tight it almost hurt Ciel. The bouquet fell from Ciel's hand and onto the floor. Sebastian kissed Ciel roughly until Ciel was out of breath. Then Sebastian let go of his lips and gazed at Ciel's flushed face behind which the flowers were spread. It was a beautiful sight. Sebastian opened his mouth to make a confession to Ciel when he heard the door at the other end of the greenhouse open and Finny come in, humming. Sebastian closed his mouth, lifted Ciel into his arms and carried him back to the manor in a flash.


	12. Chapter 12

Sebastian carried Ciel straight to his bathroom, where he ran him a hot bath. He peeled Ciel off his wet clothes and sat him into the water. Ciel sighed and sank into the warmth. He stopped shivering from the cold and relaxed. Sebastian poured warm water over his head from a jug. Ciel shook himself a little and wiped water from his eyes. 

He looked up at Sebastian, who was rolling his sleeves back to wash Ciel. “You're all wet too. You will catch a cold.", Ciel said. "No, I will not. I never get colds.", Sebastian replied. Ciel frowned. He didn't believe him. “Are you sure you're not just saying this so I don't worry? You need a hot bath too.", Ciel said. "That is not possible right now. I have to take care of you.”, Sebastian protested. Ciel blushed a little and turned away. "Then... sit in here with me.", he suggested. 

Sebastian hesitated. He doubted that he had understood Ciel correctly. "You want me to sit in the tub with you?", he repeated in surprise. Ciel slid into the center of the tub and pulled his legs up. “There's a lot of space in here. It's okay.", Ciel said. Sebastian looked at him a moment longer and considered. As a butler, it certainly wasn't decent to take a bath with your master. But nobody needed to know about it. Sebastian undressed and dropped his wet clothes on the floor. He got into the tub and sat down behind Ciel, stretching his legs to the left and right of Ciel. 

Ciel tried not to look at Sebastian's naked body. He hid his flushed face between his arms. Sebastian carefully put his arms around him and pulled him close. He wrapped his arms around Ciel's waist and rested his chin on Ciel's head. “The warmth is pleasant. I thank you, young master.", he muttered and pressed his nose into Ciel's hair. Ciel placed his hands on Sebastian's. He huddled back against Sebastian's chest and relaxed. For a while the two sat in silence. 

Then Sebastian took the soap and started washing Ciel's body. He took one of his hands and lifted it, with the other hand he soaped Ciel's arm. Then he did the same with the other arm. While he ran the soap over Ciel's chest, Ciel noticed the contract symbol on the back of Sebastian's hand. He took Sebastian's hand in his own and traced the lines with his finger. "What is that?", he wanted to know. Sebastian gulped hard. Now would be a good moment to explain to Ciel what he was and how Ciel had come to his service. Ciel looked up at him questioningly. He looked so innocent and cute. And he had no idea that he had the same mark in his eye. 

"I've had that since we met.", Sebastian said. Ciel looked down at Sebastian's hand again. "It looks pretty.", he said, then let go of Sebastian's hand and let him continue. Sebastian opened his mouth to say more about it, but he couldn't. He didn't want to scare Ciel. He didn't want Ciel to think badly of him. So Sebastian kept quiet and continued soaping Ciel. 

When Sebastian was done, he lifted Ciel out of the tub and dried him off. He wrapped him in a towel and let him go into the bedroom while he dried himself off as well. Sebastian went into Ciel's bedroom and wanted to get him dressed, but Ciel was already in bed, the towel was on the floor. "Come on, lie down with me.", asked Ciel and stretched out his arms to Sebastian. Sebastian immediately slipped under the covers and snuggled up against Ciel. Ciel held onto his shoulders and pulled Sebastian on top of him. "Hold me tight and don't let go of me.", he asked softly. 

Sebastian propped himself up on the left and right of Ciel's body on his elbows. Slowly he sank down onto Ciel. His chest was pressed against Ciel's, on his lower stomach he could feel Ciel's hips, his legs were on Ciel's. Ciel sighed comfortably. He pressed his face to Sebastian's neck and rubbed his nose against Sebastian's Adam's apple. Sebastian kissed Ciel on the head. He held Ciel close to him. The close skin contact felt comfortable. Ciel was warm, his skin soft. He fitted against Sebastian's body perfectly, like two pieces in a puzzle. 

For a while they lay in silence. "Give me your hands.", Sebastian finally said. Ciel held out his hands to him. His fingertips were no longer bleeding, but the punctures could still be seen. Sebastian licked them and sucked a little on Ciel's fingers. Ciel blushed but said nothing. When Sebastian finished, he kissed Ciel's hands and put them back on his shoulders. 

Sebastian slid down a little so that he could get to Ciel's neck. He rubbed his nose against it and took a deep breath of Ciel's scent. He kissed Ciel's neck gently. He could feel Ciel's pulse quicken a little under his lips. Sebastian kissed a line down Ciel's neck. At the point where the neck blended into the shoulder, he opened his mouth and let his fangs brush Ciel's skin. Ciel sighed relaxed. 

When Sebastian bit him gently, a low moan escaped Ciel's throat. Sebastian sucked on the bite wound and licked it until it stopped bleeding. Then he slid back up a bit to be at eye level with Ciel. "Do you like that?", Ciel wanted to know while he watched as Sebastian licked the last drops of blood from his lips. "It's delicious to me.", said Sebastian. "Then you can have as much as you want.", Ciel offered. Sebastian smiled and showed his fangs. "You're too generous.", he muttered. "It feels good.", Ciel said. He lifted a finger and put it in Sebastian's mouth, where it got cut by his fangs. Sebastian immediately started sucking on it. 

A low purr vibrated in his chest. He looked Ciel in the eye. Ciel blushed and looked away, but after a moment he raised his gaze and looked at Sebastian. Sebastian licked Ciel's fingers clean, then bent down and kissed Ciel. They stayed in bed most of the rest of the day, cuddling and kissing gently. In the evening they took a short break for dinner, but at night Sebastian snuck back into Ciel's bed and held him close all night.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day, Ciel seemed to have invented a new game. He sneaked up on Sebastian. Little by little he came closer, while Sebastian was busy setting the table. He watched Sebastian carefully and stood still every time Sebastian looked in his direction. Finally he was close enough to Sebastian and suddenly his slow movements became lightning fast. Ciel made a leap towards Sebastian, grabbed his tie, pulled himself up on it and kissed Sebastian on the cheek. Then he let go and ran away as fast as he could, so that Sebastian had no chance to react and just stood there amazed. 

Sebastian smiled at that and went on with his work. It wasn't long before Ciel peeked through the open door again. He crept into the room and slowly approached Sebastian again. "Young master, do you need something?", Sebastian asked when Ciel had reached him, but Ciel only kissed his cheek and ran away. Sebastian could hear him giggling as he ran. Sebastian pretended not to notice Ciel when he sneaked up on him for the third time. When Ciel hugged him to kiss him on the cheek, Sebastian turned his head around in a flash so that the kiss landed on his mouth. Ciel blushed and ran away again. 

Sebastian watched him leave with a smile. This game was fun. Ciel wanted to sneak up to him again, but when he went through the door into the room in which Sebastian had just been, he saw him nowhere. Ciel looked around in surprise. He didn't notice that Sebastian came out from behind the door and sneaked up to Ciel. He put his hands on Ciel's shoulders, pulled him close and kissed Ciel's head before letting go of him again. As he had thought, Ciel immediately ran away with a bright red head. 

This time it took a little longer until Ciel dared to come near him again. He took more time than before to sneak up on him. Sebastian pretended not to notice him and pretended to be surprised when a kiss landed on his temple. As he had hoped, this had the effect of preventing Ciel from stopping his game. Over and over again he sneaked up to Sebastian to kiss him and then ran away. 

At some point Sebastian ran after him. He stayed extra slow so that Ciel could almost escape him. Ciel giggled as he ran away from him. Sebastian let him run through several rooms, around tables and through corridors until Ciel was finally too much out of breath. Only then did Sebastian accelerate his speed and grab Ciel. He picked him up bridal style and covered his face in kisses while Ciel giggled so hard it made him hiccup. 

Sebastian kissed and caressed Ciel until he heard an explosion in the garden. Sighing, he carried Ciel into his room and laid him on his bed. "Take a break. I'll be back as soon as I can.", he said, pressed another kiss on Ciel's forehead and ran off to see what the servants had done this time. Sebastian was just scolding the four when he felt the familiar pull in his hand. Startled, he turned on his heel and started running away without saying another word. 

He ran straight into Ciel's room, where Ciel was lying on the bed. He seemed to be asleep, but there was sweat on his forehead, he had a tense expression on his face and tossed and turned. Sebastian stepped to the bed and gently shook Ciel's shoulders. “Young master! Young master, wake up. You're having a nightmare.”, he said. Ciel's eyes fluttered open. He looked around, disoriented. His gaze caught on Sebastian and he clung to him. 

Sebastian sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled Ciel into his arms. Ciel shivered a little and hid his face in Sebastian's chest. He sobbed softly. "It's all right. It was just a nightmare.", Sebastian soothed him. "It was horrible.", Ciel whispered. He rubbed his cheek against Sebastian's chest. "I dreamed that I was in a cage and called for help, but all that brought was darkness.", he added. Sebastian froze when he heard this. Without noticing that, Ciel curled up on Sebastian's lap. “What a strange dream. I'm glad you're here.", he said and pressed himself against Sebastian. 

While Sebastian stared at Ciel, Ciel fell asleep again. Pressed close to Sebastian, he slept peacefully and stayed relaxed. Sebastian gulped hard. Did that mean that Ciel's memories were slowly coming back? Was the serum subsiding? Or was it just a normal nightmare that happened to resemble real events? Sebastian hugged Ciel and shook his head. He didn't want to believe that those were returning memories. 

After all if that should be the case, he now had time pressure. Then he would finally have to take Ciel's soul while he still could. It would be stupid of him to miss this chance. But Sebastian had a feeling that would happen. If things went on like this, he wouldn’t have the heart to take Ciel’s soul. He had to choke to the core what was blooming between himself and Ciel or he would ruin himself because of it. With a sigh, Sebastian laid Ciel on the bed and left the room.


	14. Chapter 14

Sebastian tried to concentrate fully on the paperwork on Ciel's desk. He sorted the documents, read them through and got his thoughts about Ciel out of his head as best he could. He had to pull himself together, so he told himself. For a while he managed to. He had almost convinced himself that he could manage to distance himself from Ciel when Ciel suddenly came through the bedroom door. 

Ciel stopped at the door frame and watched Sebastian. Sebastian pretended not to notice Ciel and tried to fully focus on the documents. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Ciel was walking towards him. Ciel squeezed himself under Sebastian's arm and sat down on his lap. Sebastian tried with all his strength to ignore him. He looked past Ciel and made notes. Ciel studied Sebastian's face up close. He brushed his hair back from his forehead, Sebastian almost leaned into the touch. Ciel dropped his hand and waited to see if Sebastian would react, but he didn't. He told himself not to give in. 

After a while, Ciel touched Sebastian's hair again. He tried to braid a few strands together, but he couldn't quite succeed. So he spread them apart again and combed Sebastian's hair with his fingers. Again and again his hand wandered through the black strands. Sebastian felt his eyes drop closed from relaxation. He shook his head and focused back on his work. Ciel dropped his hand and looked at Sebastian now a little worried. He was probably worrying again that he might annoy Sebastian. Sebastian opened his mouth to tell him that wasn't the case, but before he could utter a word, he bit his tongue. 

Only when Ciel kissed him gently on the cheek did he say something. "You shouldn't do that.", he explained without looking at Ciel. Ciel blinked in surprise. He hadn't done anything else all morning and Sebastian had seemed like he liked it. Sebastian could understand why he was surprised. "Don't waste your affection on a servant, give it to your fiancée.", Sebastian added. He felt sick at the thought that Lizzy was going to get what was meant only for him until now, but he didn't take back his words. 

Ciel stared at Sebastian in shock. "But..... But I don't love Lizzy. You on the other hand...”, he said. Sebastian hastily interrupted him. "No! Do not do it! Don't give me your heart, that's not good for you!”, he snapped at Ciel and finally looked him in the eye. Ciel's eye widened. Tears formed in it. Distraught, he turned away and jumped up. He ran into his bedroom and slammed the door shut. 

Sebastian gulped hard. He sighed and rested his head in his hands. His heart ached at the knowledge that he had hurt Ciel. He wished to make up for it. But he couldn't. He absolutely had to stay away. He could not keep up this decision for long though. When Sebastian heard Ciel's choked sobs from the bedroom, his body moved as if by itself. He jumped up, ran to Ciel's bedroom, and went inside. 

Ciel had curled up on the bed and was crying into his plush rabbit, which he pressed against himself as tight as he could. Sebastian walked up to him and sat down next to Ciel on the bed. Carefully he stroked Ciel's hair. Ciel winced and looked up. When he recognized Sebastian, he turned away and rubbed his eyes. "What are you doing here? I thought you don't want to be around me.”, he sobbed. “But I do. However.... I shouldn't want it.", Sebastian said and moved closer to Ciel.

"Why not?", Ciel wanted to know. Sebastian sighed heavily. He tried to come up with the right words. Maybe he should tell Ciel the truth after all. But he just couldn't. "It's complicated.", he said instead. Ciel shook his head and sat up. "No. I don't want anything that is complicated. It's not that complicated. I want to be with you. There's nothing complicated about that.”, he protested. He looked at Sebastian with a big wet eye, like a sad kitten. Sebastian's heart contracted. It hurt a lot. Sebastian grabbed his chest and dug his fingers into his shirt. 

"It is better for both of us when we are no more than master and butler.", he forced himself to say. Ciel sobbed and wiped away his tears. "Don't you want me?", he asked. "I do, but I am not allowed to.", Sebastian replied. Ciel looked at Sebastian's painful expression. He crawled across the bed to Sebastian and hugged him. “I am your master, so I decide what you are and aren't allowed. And I decide that you are allowed to want me. You may do so as much as your heart desires.", he said. 

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Ciel's waist. “As much as my heart desires? You don't know how much that is.”, he replied. "It does not matter. I allow it.”, Ciel insisted. Before Sebastian could say more, Ciel kissed him on the lips. Sebastian immediately pressed him closer to himself and kissed back wildly. "All my heart desires is you.", he muttered against Ciel's lips. "Then don't hold back.", Ciel replied. 

When he said that, Sebastian's last restraint broke. He gently pushed Ciel back on the bed and hastily opened his vest and shirt. He kissed lovingly on Ciel's neck down to his chest, over his stomach. Ciel buried his fingers in Sebastian's hair and moaned. Sebastian threw aside his tailcoat, undid his tie, waistcoat and shirt and lay down on top of Ciel. While Ciel kissed him, Sebastian opened on their trousers. He pulled down Ciel's trousers and took off his gloves. Ciel gasped in surprise when he felt Sebastian's fingers between his legs. He hurried to prepare Ciel, then pulled his hard cock out of his pants and pushed it into Ciel. 

Ciel moaned loudly as his virginity was taken by Sebastian. He clutched Sebastian's shoulders and kissed him tenderly while Sebastian thrusted into him. The feeling of Ciel's body was overwhelming. It was even better than Sebastian had imagined. Ciel was so cute and beautiful the way he held onto Sebastian and kept whispering his name. His cheeks were flushed and his legs were wrapped around Sebastian's waist. It didn't last long, but neither of them minded. Soon they came together. 

Sebastian poured his black seed into Ciel while Ciel sprayed his white seed onto his stomach. The two stayed in that position. Sebastian pressed his face to Ciel's neck and listened to his fast breathing. He licked Ciel's delicate skin gently. At the point where the neck merged into the shoulder, where there were still slight traces of Sebastian's teeth, he began to suck until a red mark appeared. Ciel stroked Sebastian's hair "I love you.", he whispered. Sebastian gritted his teeth and pressed himself against Ciel. He started to shiver as he lost control of his mind and a memory surfaced.


	15. Chapter 15

In the distance the last fragments of the Campania sank. There was little more left of the walking corpses than a few floating limbs. Sebastian and Ciel climbed aboard the other ship that was collecting the survivors. Thanks to Ciel's rank, the two soon got a room. It was very small and only had one bed, but that didn't bother Ciel or Sebastian. 

Ciel got hold of a first aid kit and brought it to Sebastian, who peeled off his shirt. It was painful when he moved his upper body. Sebastian had to bite his tongue to keep from screaming, which caused his mouth to bleed. Finally he threw his shirt aside and was able to take a deep breath. Sebastian looked up. Ciel stood in front of him and stared at his chest, which was still bleeding, with wide eyes. Sebastian sank down on the edge of the bed and took the first aid kit from Ciel. 

"Forgive me for making such a pathetic sight.", he muttered and took out bandages. Ciel was silent and watched Sebastian try to bandage his chest. Sebastian couldn't suppress a groan as he tried to wrap the bandage around himself. It was exhausting to raise his arms, let alone switch the roll of bandages behind his back from one hand to the other. Sebastian didn't even make two layers of bandage before he had to take a break. He was breathing heavily. He swallowed his blood, but it came back up immediately and ran out of his mouth. 

Sebastian avoided looking at Ciel. He was ashamed in front of his master. Never before had he been injured as badly as he was now. And now of all times Ciel would have needed him. Ciel would catch a cold, actually Sebastian should warm him, take care of him, but instead he sat here and couldn't even bandage his own wound. Ciel was sure to be disappointed in him. Sebastian had barely thought this thought when Ciel suddenly stepped up to him. 

Hesitantly, he stradled Sebastian's lap. "I'll help you.", he muttered. He took the bandage roll from Sebastian's hand and began wrapping it around Sebastian's torso. Again and again he leaned forward until his face almost brushed Sebastian's chest, and passed the scroll behind Sebastian's back from one hand to the other. Sebastian stared at him in amazement. His little master looked so worried. Sebastian couldn't believe the expression was meant for him. Although he was wet and exhausted and freezing, he helped Sebastian with something that he was supposed to be able to do on his own. 

When Ciel was finished he tied a knot in the ends and stroked Sebastian's chest. He looked up at him and studied his face. "How dare you?", Ciel wanted to know. He didn't look angry and his voice was so quiet that one couldn't hear a mood. Sebastian stared at him speechless, too surprised to know what to say. "How dare you let yourself be seriously injured? Do you realize that I would be helpless without you? What kind of butler would leave his master alone?”, Ciel wanted to know. 

He bowed his head, but Sebastian had already seen the tears in his eyes. He leaned forward and licked up a tear that ran down Ciel's cheek. Ciel turned away his head, but didn't stop Sebastian as he wrapped his arms around Ciel's waist and pulled him close. "Are you worried about me?", Sebastian asked softly. Ciel pressed his lips together and tried unsuccessfully to blink his tears away. "You will not die. You will get all healthy again. That's an order.”, Ciel sobbed. Sebastian leaned down to Ciel's ear. "Yes, my lord.", he whispered and hugged Ciel. 

Sebastian leaned back and sank into the bed. He was lying on his side, Ciel snuggled close to him. Sebastian pulled the blanket over Ciel and stroked his hair until Ciel fell asleep. Ciel snuggled up against him in his sleep. Sebastian looked at Ciel's relaxed face. He gently touched Ciel's cheek with his fingertips. Something moved in his chest. At first he thought it was the injury, but it was his heart. It beat faster as he looked at Ciel. It did that more often, but now Sebastian was paying attention to it. 

He leaned down to Ciel and leaned his forehead against Ciel's. He was so cute. And he was worried about Sebastian. Sebastian thought about it. In fact, he could have been more thoughtful in his fight with Undertaker. Instead he had forgotten everything around him when he had grabbed Ciel. Only Ciel had counted for him. He should have known, however, that he was putting himself in danger when he had turned his back to Undertaker. 

Sebastian let his mind wander. Memories came to him that gave even more examples of how he put Ciel above everything. That he being in Ciel's presence felt so good to him. That he was happy when he satisfied Ciel. To him, Ciel was everything. Sebastian was surprised to see how long he hadn't thought about Ciel's soul but only about Ciel. Sebastian sighed and gritted his teeth. His eyes lit up and cast a red light on Ciel's face. He shook his head and pulled his hair, but it didn't change anything. His feelings had grown to be what they were now. 

Sebastian swallowed hard. He wrapped his arms tighter around Ciel and kissed him gently on the forehead. "I love you, young master.", he whispered against Ciel's skin. Sebastian buried this knowledge in the deepest depths of his memory. He decided never to think about it again, not to remember it at all, not to know it anymore, and above all not to say it anymore. Still, he repeated the confession. When Ciel lost his memories, gave him his virginity and told him that he loved him, Sebastian realized how he felt for Ciel a second time. He remembered. And he repeated himself. "I love you, young master.", he whispered into Ciel's ear.


	16. Chapter 16

For the next few days, Sebastian and Ciel hardly left the bedroom. Sebastian explored Ciel's body carefully. He found out which areas were particularly sensitive, when Ciel made the sweetest noises, how Ciel liked to be taken by him. Ciel quickly became exhausted, but was happy to let Sebastian hold him and continue making love to him when he was already tired. 

While Ciel was sleeping on Sebastian's chest after a particularly exhausting session and Sebastian was stroking his hair, Meyrin suddenly came in. She stopped dead and got a nosebleed. Sebastian pulled the covers up further so that Ciel was fully covered and held his index finger to his lips to stop Meyrin from talking. "What do you want here?", he asked quietly. Meyrin blinked and wiped the blood away. “I... we... we thought the young master was sick. Because you were with him in his room without a break. I wanted to have a look. I mean, whether everything is okay.", she stuttered. "It's all right. Leave.“, Sebastian hissed. Meyrin nodded and stumbled out of the room. 

After Ciel woke up, Sebastian took him to the bathroom, where he ran them a hot bath. He let Ciel ride him in it, then he massaged Ciel and soaped him up while Ciel lay on his chest and caught his breath. "How are you feeling?", asked Sebastian. Ciel smiled and blushed. "Full.“, he said softly. Sebastian grinned. Demons naturally gave more seed than humans and by now he had filled Ciel so much that he almost had a slightly bulged belly. 

“By the way, Meyrin saw us earlier. So I have to exchange a word with the other servants. I can make your dinner on that occasion.”, said Sebastian. Ciel looked up in surprise and blushed even more. “She saw us? While we... ”, he muttered. Sebastian shook his head. "Afterwards. While you were sleeping. Don't worry, everything important was hidden by the blanket.”, he explained. Then he lifted Ciel out of the tub, dried him off, and dressed him. 

After he was also dressed himself, he went downstairs to the kitchen. As he had imagined, the servants stood together and whispered. When they saw Sebastian, Meyrin and Snake blushed. Finny looked perplexed while Bard grinned broadly. “Well, look who honors us with his presence. Mister lover personally. Didn't know that you take care of the young master's wellbeing like that too.”, said Bard. Sebastian came right up to him. 

"You have something on your shirt.", he said. Bard looked down at himself and realized too late that Sebastian was taking the chance to grab his collar. He lifted Bard up as if he weighed nothing. "You should be more careful about your jokes.", Sebastian said calmly. Bard blinked at him, puzzled. "But... I didn't mean that badly at all. Ey, if you and the young master are happy together, that makes me happy too. Honestly. I have no problem with that. None of us have. Right, guys?“, Bard stammered and looked around at the other three who nodded in agreement. 

Sebastian slowly put Bard down. "So I can count on your support?", he asked. The four nodded eagerly. “You are a cute couple. Why not? Says Emily.”, said Snake. "The most important thing is that you are happy.", said Finny. Meyrin wiped more blood from under his nose and nodded. Sebastian took a deep breath and smiled. "Then everything is fine. Or at least almost everything.”, he said softly. Then he clapped his hands together and started dinner. 

Ciel blushed and hardly dared to look up from his plate while he ate dinner. Even after Sebastian had whispered in his ear that the servants supported them, he was still a little nervous. Sebastian put him in bed and promised to be with him soon, then went into the kitchen to do the dishes. While Meyrin, Finny and Snake went to bed, Bard helped Sebastian. "Since when has something been going on between you and the young master?", Bard asked carefully. “Only for a week or so. Since he lost his memory, I had to think more about what to do with him.”, Sebastian said. 

“And what are you going to do with him? Besides sleeping with him, I mean.", asked Bard. Sebastian sighed and dropped his hands. "That's the problem. I dont know. Now I'm far too deep into this whole thing to be able to act lightly. I should never have let it get that far.", Sebastian muttered. Bard eyed him a little uncertainly. "You mean because he's engaged and noble?", he asked. Sebastian looked up confused. "What? Oh. Oh! Oh damn, that makes things even worse! I can't even go on like this until the end of his life! That damn Elizabeth!”Sebastian yelled and dropped onto a chair. He buried his face in his hands and groaned. Bard patted his shoulder awkwardly. 

While Sebastian was thinking about what to do, he suddenly heard something. Sebastian raised his head and listened. Somebody sneaked into the house. Sebastian stood up abruptly and adjusted his gloves. “I think there are unwelcome guests. Bard, wake up the others and look for them. I'll take over the first floor.", he said and hurried away. Sebastian ran to Ciel's bedroom. Even before he got there, he heard gunshots on the ground floor that drove the burglars upstairs. Sebastian stopped and turned around. He waited hidden behind a corner. 

A moment later, they ran right at him. Sebastian jumped out and punched one of the intruders in the face. The other immediately shot at Sebastian. Sebastian caught the bullet and threw it back so quickly that it killed the shooter. He broke the other's neck while the third and last ran away with a scream and ran straight into the arms of the rest of the servants. Sebastian left him to them and ran to Ciel's bedroom. He was sure the noise had woken him. 

Sebastian knocked and came into the room. "Young master?", he asked into the darkness. Ciel was no longer in bed. Sebastian looked around. "Young master?", he asked worried. "Sebastian?", he heard Ciel's voice very quietly. Sebastian knelt on the floor and looked under the bed. There Ciel crouched, eyes wide, trying to see something in the darkness. Sebastian pulled him out from under the bed and lifted him into his arms. “It's all good, young master. Nothing will happen to you.“, he said and rubbed Ciel's back. 

Ciel clung to him as tightly as he could. "Who was there? What happened? Did they set fire to the house?”, he asked in a shaky voice. Sebastian dropped into the bed and pulled the covers over himself and Ciel. “It was just a couple of burglars, but we've already taken care of them. Do not worry. But why should they set fire to the house?”, he said. Ciel gave him a wide eyed look. "I dont know. I thought it was on fire.", he whispered. Sebastian shook his head and hugged Ciel. "Do not worry. Nothing burns.“, he said. That night Ciel slept very restlessly and had constant nightmares.


	17. Chapter 17

The next morning, Sebastian woke up alone in Ciel's bed. Confused, he looked around. He got up and went to the open bathroom door. When he got into the bathroom, he saw Ciel standing in front of the mirror. He was staring at his right eye in horror. Sebastian watched him for a moment until he realized what that meant. Should Ciel ask about it, he would have to tell him everything. Sebastian hurried towards Ciel and wanted to pull him away from the mirror, but Ciel backed away from him. 

He stared at Sebastian in shock. Tears welled up in his eyes. "That can't be true.", he whispered, shaking his head slightly. He backed up to the wall and pressed his back against it. “That just can't be true. You were just after my soul the whole time?”, Ciel whispered. He looked at Sebastian as if he saw him very differently now. Sebastian swallowed hard. "You can remember now?", he asked in a husky voice. Ciel nodded. “Everything. Why am I still alive? Why didn't you kill me Why did you let me get attached?”, he wanted to know. 

Ciel shook his head violently and buried his face in his hands. "I was so dumb! The whole time I followed you around like a puppy. I was so fixated on you. I adored you, damn it! Why did you let that happen? Will that affect the taste of my soul? Will it taste good that I developed so much affection for you, only to be broken by you?”, Ciel wanted to know. "Young master...", Sebastian muttered, but Ciel didn't listen to him. 

“You damn bastard! You should have told me we have a contract! You should have told me what you are! Instead, you played the role of protector for me as if you cared about me! How did you endure me at all? I acted like a child!”, Ciel shouted. He was interrupted by a loud sob. "Young master...", said Sebastian, but Ciel shook his head wildly. Tears ran down his cheeks. 

"You are cruel! You could have killed me, instead you humiliate me! Did you laugh inside when I clung to you? I'm sure you thought it would be good for me that my pride got damaged!”, Ciel continued. He couldn't stop. "Young master!", called Sebastian and made a leap towards Ciel. He wrapped him in his arms and hugged him tightly. "Stop it! Let me go! Let... let...", Ciel stuttered, but he sobbed too much to be able to finish his sentence. 

“That's all wrong! That's not true!”, Sebastian shouted. He pressed himself against Ciel and held him so tight that it almost hurt him. Ciel didn't stop crying and sobbing. He tried to push Sebastian away and hit him in the face with all his strength, but Sebastian would not let go of him. "Listen to me.", he asked Ciel, but Ciel just hit him again. Sebastian caught his hand. "Listen to me!", he repeated. 

Ciel collapsed in his arms and clung to Sebastian's tailcoat. Sebastian stroked his hair until he could catch his breath, then put two fingers under Ciel's chin and pushed it up. Ciel's eyes were teary and reddened, but still so beautiful. "I love you.", said Sebastian. Ciel shook his head. "Liar", he sobbed. "No, I love you. I can't lie to you, you know that. I love you. I love you so much.“, said Sebastian. Ciel fell silent and looked at him with wide eyes. Sebastian let himself sink to the floor and placed Ciel on his lap so that he was stradling his tighs. 

“When you lost your memory, I thought to myself, I'll just have to wait for it to come back, but then I realized I could take your soul. I tried to do it but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't bear the thought of not having you in my life anymore. I couldn't lose you, especially not because of my own fault.", Sebastian explained. He brushed Ciel's hair from his forehead and placed his hand on Ciel's cheek. Ciel involuntarily leaned into the touch. 

"When you became attached to me, I was happy. It felt good to take care of you. I loved doing it. I liked being near you. I wanted to make you happy. And I definitely didn't want to lose your trust. You would have avoided me for sure if I had told you what I am and why I obey you. That's why I didn't do it.”, Sebastian continued. 

Ciel stopped crying. A few last tears ran down his cheek and Sebastian licked them up. “I tried to suppress my feelings for you. I used to do that so well that I didn't even notice them, but now I couldn't anymore. I love you, young master. I love you, that's the truth.", Sebastian explained. Ciel looked down. Slowly he sank forward and leaned his forehead against Sebastian's chest. While Sebastian stroked his hair, he gradually calmed down. 

After a while he got up and went to his bedroom. Sebastian followed him and watched him curl up in the bed. He pulled the plush rabbit into his arms. "Young master?", asked Sebastian hesitantly. Ciel pressed his face into the rabbit. "Leave me alone.”, Ciel whispered. Sebastian lowered his gaze. He bowed and left Ciel's bedroom. He went down to his own room, closed the door behind him, and dropped onto the bed. He lay there for hours, chewing his hand and staring at the ceiling.


	18. Chapter 18

Sebastian didn't get up from his bed until late at night. The other servants looked after him, talked to him, but he just turned his head away and said nothing. Meyrin brought him a first aid kit for his bleeding hand, but Sebastian ignored it and kept chewing on it. The pain made it easier for him to think as little as possible. 

When it was late, Sebastian's door opened again. He continued to stare at the ceiling, not paying attention to the steps that came closer. Only when he felt a small hand in his hair did he look up. He almost bit his thumb off in shock. "Young master!", he exclaimed in surprise and sat up. Ciel eyed him worried and sat down next to him on the edge of the bed. He took the first aid kit from Sebastian's bedside table and pulled out bandages. Then he took Sebastian's hand and pulled the remains of the glove off it. 

Sebastian watched as Ciel cleaned his bite wounds and wrapped the bandage around his hand. When he was done, Ciel slid closer to Sebastian and leaned himself against his chest. “I've been thinking about everything you said to me while I wasn't remembering. I really didn't get on your nerves?”, he muttered. "Never.", said Sebastian. He carefully wrapped his arms around Ciel and pulled him onto his lap. Ciel held onto Sebastian's vest and hid his face in his chest. 

"You have been so gentle with me.", he muttered. Sebastian stroked his hair. “Ah yes, and you've been doing that often. It feels good.”, Ciel said and leaned into the touch. He relaxed with his eyes closed and snuggled into Sebastian's hand like a kitten. Sebastian leaned his forehead against Ciel's. "I love you, young master.", he whispered. Ciel opened his eyes and studied Sebastian's face. A slight smile appeared on his lips. "I love you too.", he said, leaned over and kissed Sebastian gently. 

Ciel lay down in Sebastian's bed and pulled Sebastian down by his tie. He unbuttoned his shirt and placed Sebastian's hand on his bare chest. Sebastian looked at him questioningly, but Ciel just smiled and blushed slightly. Sebastian didn't need any more invitation than that. He tore apart Ciel's shirt and tossed it aside, then quickly took off his tailcoat, waistcoat, shirt and tie. 

He sank down on Ciel and kissed his neck. He nipped on his skin tenderly. He let his teeth brush over it and bit Ciel's neck. Ciel stroked Sebastian's hair while Sebastian drank his blood. His hands wandered over Ciel's body. He felt the soft skin, the contours of his limbs. Sebastian licked Ciel's wound clean and kissed his chest. He let his tongue circle around a nipple and sucked on it, which made Ciel moan. While Ciel was distracted, Sebastian's hand went between his legs to prepare him. 

Sebastian finally opened his pants, got his hard cock out and pushed it into Ciel. Ciel wrapped his legs around Sebastian's waist and kissed him. Sebastian pushed his tongue into Ciel's mouth as he began to thrust into him. Ciel could feel that Sebastian's teeth had grown to a predator's size. When he looked up he saw that Sebastian's eyes were glowing red. He held Ciel pressed tightly against himself, thrusted hard into him and growled softly. Ciel blushed and pressed Sebastian's head to his neck. Sebastian began to drink from his wound again. 

He kept hitting exactly the right spot to let Ciel see stars. Soon Ciel came for the first time that night, but Sebastian kept going. He bit Ciel in the chest and started sucking on the wound. Ciel tried hard to suppress his moans. Again and again he whispered Sebastian's name. Fascinated, he watched the room grow darker. Sebastian spread his wings and wrapped them around Ciel. Again and again he made him come, until after hours he finally came too and filled Ciel with his black seed. Ciel lay breathless under him and stroked Sebastian's hair and wings. Sebastian licked Ciel's wounds clean and snuggled up against him. He purred and rubbed his nose against Ciel's throat. They kissed gently and kept whispering how much they loved each other until Ciel fell asleep.


	19. Chapter 19

The next day, Ciel woke up to a low growl. He looked up to see Sebastian hovering over Ciel and baring his teeth. Ciel followed Sebastian's gaze with his eyes and saw Bard, who was standing in the doorway with his hands raised in defense. "What kind of noise is that?", he muttered. Ciel pulled Sebastian's head to his chest and thereby silenced Sebastian. 

"What are you doing here?", he asked Bard. Bard cleared his throat and nervously stepped on the spot. “You two should get dressed quickly. Elizabeth is here.”, he said. Sebastian hit the bed with his fist. "That bitch!", he hissed, jumping up and geting dressed in an instant. He wrapped Ciel in the blanket and quickly carried him to his bedroom, where he dressed him up. 

Ciel tried to stay as calm as possible and not show anything when he went to Lizzy who was having tea in the dining room. She jumped up and ran to him. "Ciiiieeel! I'm back!”, she shouted and gave him a big hug. He patted her back and sighed. "I can see that.", he said. He glanced sideways at Sebastian and saw what anger flashed in his eyes as he stared at Lizzy. Ciel quickly pulled away from her.

“You were just here the other day. Why are you coming back so quickly?”, he wanted to know. Lizzy grabbed Ciel's hand and pulled him to the table with her. “Look, I found a lot of pictures. They show our families and us. I thought that would help you to remember.", she said and held out an envelope. Ciel pushed it away. “That's nice, but I can remember. Yesterday my memories came back by themselves.”, he explained. Lizzy made big eyes. She hugged him again enthusiastically and squeezed him. 

She was so happy that it was difficult to calm her down. Lizzy stayed there for a couple of hours and kept talking and hugging Ciel over and over again. When she said goodbye to him, she gave him a letter and kissed Ciel on the cheek. He wiped his cheek with a handkerchief as he went into his study. Sebastian watched him longingly before going into the kitchen to do his work. He cleaned up the property, fixed whatever Meyrin, Finny and Bard were breaking, and prepared dinner. Then he brought afternoon tea to Ciel. 

He looked forward to stealing a few kisses, hugging his beloved young master, but when he got into the study his joy was replaced by worry. Ciel was sitting at his desk with his face buried in his hands. In front of him was the letter Lizzy had given him, lying open on the table. Sebastian stepped up to Ciel and touched his hair. "Young master?”, he asked softly. Ciel didn't look up but pushed the letter towards him. Sebastian picked it up and read it. It was an invitation for Lizzy's birthday. Sebastian put the letter back, circled the table and knelt on the floor next to Ciel. 

"Young master, what's the matter?", he asked. He turned Ciel's chair so that Ciel was facing him. Ciel looked at the floor and clenched her fists. “Last year Aunt Frances said we should start planning the wedding on Lizzy's next birthday. I don't know what to do.", Ciel said quietly. Sebastian swallowed hard. He dropped his head on Ciel's lap and closed his eyes. Ciel stroked his hair gently. “At first I thought that we could go on as before and just secretly have a relationship. But if I have to marry Lizzy it won't work. I have to find some reason to convince the Midfords that I would be a bad match for Lizzy. I just don't know how. I'm getting tired of everything.", Ciel said. 

There was silence for a while while Ciel stroked Sebastian's hair. An idea formed in Sebastian's head, a possibility he wouldn't usually dare to consider. But it was such a tempting option. Sebastian looked up at Ciel and studied him carefully. "What do you need to be happy?", he asked. Ciel blinked in surprise. He thought for a moment. "A nice home, delicious food, a soft bed, good books,..... you.", he listed. Sebastian smiled. He got up, lifted Ciel in his arms and kissed his forehead. Then he sat down on Ciel's chair and placed Ciel on his lap. 

“I could make you happy. I have a nice home, I can cook, I can build you a nest out of the softest materials, I have a whole library at home. We could leave all this behind and live in my world. We can even get married there and have children. If you want that.”, Sebastian said. Ciel looked at him with wide eyes. "When you say your world, do you mean... hell?", asked Ciel. Sebastia n nodded. "It's not as bad there as humans think.", he said. 

"Are you sure that a human like me is welcome there?", Ciel asked uncertainly. Sebastian grinned. “I don't intend to let you stay human. I could turn you into a half demon.”, Sebastian suggested. Ciel's eyes widened even more. "A half demon...", he muttered. “I could do that with the servants too. If we take them with us, you'll have some company in my palace. Nobody else lives there after all.”, Sebastian continued. He smiled at the idea of taking Ciel home with him. Ciel leaned against Sebastian and let it all go through his head. “You don't have to decide right away. You can think about it. I will do what you want. If you want to stay here, that's fine too.”, said Sebastian. He kissed Ciel tenderly, then sat him back on the chair, gave him tea and cake, and left the room.


	20. Chapter 20

Late that night, after Sebastian and Ciel had slept with each other and while they were cuddling, Ciel broke the thoughtful silence he had maintained all afternoon. "I thought about it. I want to go into your world with you and live there by your side.", Ciel said softly. Sebastian hugged him excitedly. "Really?", he asked breathlessly. 

Ciel nodded and kissed Sebastian. “But first I want to be able to say goodbye. We're going the day after Lizzy's birthday party. I'll tell everyone that I'm working on a particularly dangerous case, then later it will look like I was killed in the process when we disappear.", Ciel added. Sebastian agreed and kissed him again. 

In the next few days Sebastian and Ciel prepared everything. Ciel wrote a will and chose things to take with him. Sebastian packed everything in suitcases. During the day they pretended everything was normal and at night Sebastian stayed in Ciel's bed. Lizzy's birthday was coming soon. Ciel was a little sad but tried to be as nice to Lizzy as possible. For her the celebration was wonderful. 

In the evening Ciel dropped into bed exhausted and fell asleep almost immediately. Sebastian sat with him for a while, stroking his hair, then went and fetched the carriage. He loaded all the suitcases on it and lashed them tight, then went into the kitchen. He spent the night calmly baking a cake, which he arranged nicely with powdered sugar on the table in the kitchen. When the servants came into the kitchen that morning, Sebastian was waiting for them with freshly brewed tea. 

Sebastian motioned for them to sit down, then sat himself at the head of the table. “I want to ask you something. How far would you go for the young master?”, he wanted to know and let his eyes wander. "We would do anything for him.", said Finny. The others nodded in agreement. "Without him and you we would be nothing and would have nothing at all.", added Bard. Sebastian smiled. "Would you follow the young master anywhere?", he asked. Again they nodded. "Of course, yes.", said Meyrin. Sebastian's smile widened. 

He put his hands together and nodded. "Wonderful.", he said, getting up and cutting the cake into four large pieces. Everyone got one on their plate. “I baked this cake especially for you. I mixed in a secret ingredient. So it's a very special cake. I dare say you will never forget this cake. Eat it. Eat every bite.“, he told them. The servants thanked him happily and began to eat while Sebastian watched them with a smile. 

“When you're done, pack whatever you want to take with you. We are going to leave. And never come back.", he said and went to the door. "What kind of journey is that going to be?", asked Bard before Sebastian was completely gone. Sebastian turned around. "The young master and will elope.", he said cheerfully, then left the kitchen. 

Sebastian went into his master's bedroom with a cup of tea. He kissed him awake, gave him the tea and chose a particularly nice suit for him. "Have you said goodbye to everything to your satisfaction?"m Sebastian asked while he was dressing Ciel. Ciel nodded. "I'm ready.", he said. Sebastian smiled a big smile that showed his sharp teeth. He placed Ciel in the middle of the bed and kneeled in front of him, then undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt and waistcoat. He took off his gloves, threw them away, and let his fingernails grow into claws. 

He ran one of them over his chest, leaving a bleeding wound. Sebastian pulled Ciel to him. “You have to drink it. As much as you can.“, he instructed him and pressed Ciel's mouth to the wound. Ciel grabbed Sebastian's shirt and opened his mouth. Blood rushed in, washing over his tongue with a bittersweet taste that couldn't be compared to anything Ciel had tasted before. Ciel swallowed it. The wound appeared to be quite deep. Sebastian's blood flowed in streams into Ciel's mouth and ran down his chin in drops. Ciel swallowed and swallowed, but more and more came. Sebastian held Ciel's head tightly against his chest and praised him. He didn't stop spurring on Ciel and telling him how well he was doing, although Ciel felt more like a kitten that was overwhelmed with his milk bottle. 

He didn't even know how long and how much he drank. It felt like an eternity to Ciel before it started to get foggy in his head. He was still drinking when he could no longer feel his limbs. Sebastian caught him when Ciel fell back on the bed. The room seemed to spin around Ciel. Sebastian's face looked hazy as he looked at it, his words sounded like from a great distance. “That will be over quickly. Your body just has to deal with the change. You almost made it.", Sebastian said. 

He licked the remaining blood from Ciel's mouth and chin. While Ciel endured the strange feeling, Sebastian held him in his arms and talked to him. Ciel dropped his eyes closed and tried to relax. When Ciel began to feel better and opened his eyes again, it was already evening. Ciel sat up very slowly and felt his surroundings. "How are you feeling?", asked Sebastian. His voice seemed louder than before. "Light and so full at the same time.", Ciel muttered. 

Sebastian helped him get up. Ciel took a few steps carefully, but his legs threatened to give way under him. Sebastian lifted him in his arms and carried him downstairs. They went into the kitchen, where the other servants were still sitting at the table. They had finished the cake completely and then collapsed at the table. Now they were slowly starting to move again. They looked up at Sebastian and Ciel and tried to say something, but only managed to stammer. Sebastian looked each of them in the eyes and felt their foreheads. 

"Do not worry. You are doing well. We'll wait a little longer until you guys are back on your feet, then we'll drive off. I'll prepare everything.”, said Sebastian. He sat Ciel at the table with the servants, then went into the stable. He hitched the horses to the carriage and saddled Ciel's favorite horse. Then he checked the property and made sure he hadn't missed anything. He left his gloves next to Ciel's eye patch on Ciel's bedside table. Finally he went back to the kitchen. 

"What happened?", Bard wanted to know. “I'll explain everything later. Come with me.“, said Sebastian. He lifted Ciel in his arms and carried him out of the mansion, followed by the servants. The four climbed into the carriage while Sebastian mounted the horse and Ciel sat in the saddle in front of him. They moved away from the manor and the sunset behind it, and came towards the darkness. In the deepest shadows they passed the boundary between the worlds. It got colder and darker. The horses shied a little, but Sebastian pushed them on steadfastly. 

When it got brighter, the former humans were amazed. They were in a snowy forest landscape and were heading straight for a large medieval castle. The gate wings opened by themselves and closed behind the carriage. Sebastian took the horses away, then took Ciel's hand and led him into the castle. "Welcome home.", he said with a smile. He directed the servants where to put the luggage while Ciel looked around the lobby. "This is all yours?", he asked surprised. "Yes. And the forest around it too. Come with me.", Sebastian said, took Ciel's hand and led him up the stairs, through a couple of corridors and through a particularly beautifully carved door. 

Ciel's eyes widened. The bedroom in front of him was huge and luxurious. Ciel went in and looked around. There was a balcony that overlooked the garden, an adjoining bathroom with a huge sunken bathtub, and in the middle of the room was a huge four-poster bed that was at least twice the size of Ciel's bed. Ciel dropped onto it. It was wonderfully soft and springy. "Do you like it here?", asked Sebastian. "A lot. It's wonderful.”, said Ciel. Sebastian lay down next to him and pulled him into his arms. "Are you happy?", he asked. Ciel nodded. "So, so happy.", he said. Sebastian kissed him. "Good. I'll make sure that it stays that way.”, he said.


End file.
